Marlin was never equipped for Dory

Where can you get a protein and fiber filled,
crunchy, NON GMO snack
perfect for toddler hands?
Visit this month's blog sponsor to find out!

___________________

This week I took my family to our local drive in and watched the preview of Finding Dory. It's been a much anticipated movie for our household; the kids are in love with their favorite characters from Finding Nemo while the hubs and I are big Pixar fans. I was curious how this movie was going to hold up as a sequel to Finding Nemo and if it was going to bust Pixar out of their current rut. Brave (2012) was the last Pixar film that I was really wowed over, but one can't really expect them to have hit it out of the ballpark blockbusters every time.

I've been wrestling with myself about Finding Dory. The story line has some deep themes that have left me unsettled; I've got a new perspective about the main characters that I didn't really see in Finding Nemo. You see, most people will say that the main lesson in Finding Dory is "believe in yourself," to which I agree. I think if you are looking for the "happy ending" moral, that one can be easily said about this movie. Throughout the whole story Dory is continually working on moving through her struggle of short term memory loss, and just like in Finding Nemo, memories that mean a lot to her help spark her memory. But what unsettles me is Marlin.

Let's back up. I'll start with the good. Did you notice that most of the characters in Finding Dory, with the exception of Marlin, Charlie and Jenny (Dory's parents) have special needs? Hank the octopus is missing an arm, Bailey the Beluga whale has a problem with his echolocation, Destiny the whale shark is near sighted, Nemo has a little fin and Dory has short term memory loss. This was one of the main reasons why I loved Finding Nemo so much, because in Pixar's quiet way they reinforced to children that it's ok to be different. The whole premise of Finding Nemo is that he was showing his dad that he doesn't need to be held back because of his disability. "You think you can do these things, but you just CAN'T, Nemo!" I'm not a parent of a child with disabilities, but I am sure that this statement hit a lot of parents in the gut. Our job as parents is to find a way to help our children flourish, in spite of their struggles, and it's a dark moment if we ever realize that we were holding our child back. By the end of Finding Nemo Marlin seemed to understand that Nemo's disability won't slow him down for long.

But my opinion of Marlin was slowly changed in the beginning of Finding Dory. The early part of the movie shows Marlin, Nemo and Dory a year after the end of Finding Nemo. They lived next door to each other and Dory is an active part of the clownfishes' lives. Dory's short attention span and forgetfulness is well known throughout the community. The day comes where Nemo's class is going on a field trip to watch the ray migration and Mr. Ray quietly tells Marlin that having Dory along that day will make the trip more difficult. Both Mr. Ray and Marlin seem a exasperated by Dory's needs, but don't want to hurt her feelings. Marlin tries to explain to Dory why she can't go along that day and she misunderstands it as Ray needing a teacher's assistant. Ray and Marlin give a quick, tongue in cheek exchange that Ray gets Dory for the day.

This is what sets the mood to me that although Marlin and Dory are friends he still sees her as a burden. He had tried multiple times during Finding Nemo to unload her and now keeps her around, probably because Nemo holds him accountable and responsible in caring for her. Multiple off color jokes from Marlin pepper the whole movie, especially about Dory and Becky, the wacked out and 'not all the way there' bird.

What really caught my attention was the moment after the squid chase and the trio are in the kelp jungle. Marlin is trying to assess Nemo and Dory is trying to help. Marlin is clearly stressed out and Nemo is crying a little and needing comfort. Dory feels terrible and realizes that her whole scatterbrained quest is what almost got all of them eaten and she tries over and over to get in and make sure that Nemo is ok. Finally Marlin snaps and tells Dory to go away. I really think that Marlin views Dory as a burden.

A lot of us as parents can relate to this situation. I've had it happen numerous times where I'm doing the exact same thing - one child needs something addressed immediately and the other isn't letting up. I've snapped, numerous times, to get the other kid to give us space and I can figure out what needs to happen. In our age group (toddler and preschooler) it usually results in two kids crying and me feeling worse than before.

I'm no professional, but I do have a B.A. in Sociology which has trained me to look at social situations. This interchange is called caregiver burnout. Marlin was never equipped to fully handle Dory and her needs and he finally snapped.

Compare that to how Dory's parents relate to her. Each of Dory's flashbacks show us how Jennie and Charlie came up with games and songs (very much like an occupational therapist would do) to help Dory manage her life. They show sadness and fear at times where they realize how difficult her life may be in the future. Regardless, they work together to create a safe environment where Dory can flourish within reasonable boundaries, rather than be limited and restricted (which is how Marlin treated Nemo, and later Dory).

I'm not saying that Marlin is a bad guy. There are many amazing people in this world who are called on and equipped for the mental and emotional work of helping care for someone who has special needs. Some need a lifetime of care and others only for a short period of time. Marlin was already called upon to raise Nemo and learned that he doesn't do himself or Nemo any favors by holding him back and babying him because of the lucky fin. He made big strides through Finding Nemo to trust Nemo. The same problem is revisited in Finding Dory, but this time he is less invested because Dory is a friend and not his child. I wonder if Marlin thinks about what the long term solution is for Dory, and if she will ever be able to be on her own (even though she had survived childhood all by herself, showing that she can be fine).

Finding Dory is still a very enjoyable movie, and like many other reviews have said that it stands well alone as the continuation of the Nemo storyline, and parents of special needs kids can relate to Marlin vs Jennie & Charlie.

What do you think?

Thanks for supporting the blog and checking out the month's sponsor,
Gerber, and their delicious Lil Beanies! 

The Pad Project: Update on Operation Christmas Child

A few weeks ago I shared about The Pad Project; a service project that a friend and I dreamed up to sew cloth menstrual pads to send to girls in developing countries.

Our first goal was to send pads over via Operation Christmas Child, a project funded by The Samaritan Purse. My MOPS group has participated in Operation Christmas Child for two years. This year we have 12 tables of about 10 women each and individual tables chose a boy or girl in a certain age group to prepare a box for. The shoe boxes are filled gifts and items for children are sent all around the world. Kelsey and I saw this as a perfect first vehicle in getting our pads over to parts of the world where girls would need them. The Samaritan Purse allows menstrual products for the 10-14 age group for girls so we asked each table to let us know if they are selecting a girl in that age group. We initially anticipated 8 boxes for girls in that age group, so our hope was to give a minimum of 4 pads per box, with the great hope of giving them up to 8.

Through the awesome donations of material, snaps, PUL, time and prayers we had 88 pads, 40 boosters (thinner wingless pads that can be placed on top of the pad for additional absorbancy), a small PUL clutch that holds 3 used pads at a time, a few bars of soap AND 3-4 pairs of underwear per box ready this morning!

Another great surprise and blessing was...8 additional boxes were ready to get more pads! There were enough extra donated items (such as pencils, sewing kits, coloring books, hair brushes) that filled 8 additional boxes for the girls 10-14 age group. So The Pad Project has an additional goal of making 40-50 more pads to fill those new boxes before the shipping deadline on November 16th.

The Pad Project: Sewing Cloth Pads for Girls in Developing Countries

About 3 weeks ago I pitched a crazy dream to a friend. "Let's sew cloth pads for girls in developing countries." Without missing a beat, she excitedly jumped on board and we started a project that has awed me in the power of God's work.

As a young girl starting your period is the rite of passage. In the US we don't really make a big deal out of it, it's typically discussed between a mother and daughter and later maybe her friends. There is no outside marker to show this physical change, though this girl may feel a time of pride or even confusion. But her life goes on as normal - she will continue to go to school, try to work through the discomfort at sports practice and learn how to live with this on a monthly basis.

 

In other parts of the world this same rite of passage can be mean the end of your educational career. She is unable to have it discreetly because of a lack of sanitary products. She may become very ill because her lack of options in materials that she can use or how she's able to wash them. Her culture may require her to be physically secluded because of the fear of evil spirits. Even in developed nations she may not be allowed in the kitchen or to touch her father. The typical response is exclusion. 

 

I can't imagine being in a world where a completely natural and NECESSARY biological function to mankind removes me from what I want or need to do. 

 

This idea has been bouncing around in my head for several months. I know that I live in a highly privileged world where I worry for very little, especially my period. I have been consciously searching for ways where I can use this privilege to make a change. It was recently reignited when I read the stories about Flo, a handheld washing, drying and carrying device for cloth pads and Kiran Ghandi who ran a marathon while "free bleeding." My journey began by applying the desire for a world where everyone is equally valued to something very small and simple- giving some girls pads so that they can continue on their lives without being hindered by unreasonable fears. It doesn't matter to me whether I change four girls lives or 40. Each one deserves this very basic dignity.

I can't wait to dive further into this topic of education, health and sanitation and sociological response to menstruation. It makes sense - I have a degree in Sociology. This is the stuff I would have spent hours devouring while in college and especially now, as the mother of two daughters, I see clearly why this is an important topic for me to discover and share with anyone who will listen.

 

Why cloth pads, you might ask. Disposables are surely easy for us to come by and donate. In our culture using cloth versus disposables is usually a matter of choice. Think about it this way - how much does a pad cost in The United States? Pennies. Disposable items are very cheap for us. In other countries it's the exact opposite. It is a luxury to throw something away after using it once. A luxury that most of the world does not have.  Providing a girl with a set of disposable pads will help her for a matter of hours. Cloth pads, on the other hand, have a lifespan of years.

My friend, Kelsey, and I brought this concept to several like-minded women and our idea has spread like wildfire. A large part of our project goals was to use as much material available to us that is simply laying around the house. Items like fabric remnants from previous projects, worn out bed sheets and receiving blankets that were waiting for a someday baby. Quickly several women came forward with yards and yards of their fabric stashes, purchased KAM snaps and several have donated their time to help us put these together. Many recognize the need and importance of this project and they are eager to step forward to help make this happen. I can't believe how blessed we have been.

A common question is "where will they go?" We are currently working to complete our first goal in providing a set of 8 pads per girl in our MOPS group participation in Operation Christmas Child, which is 64 pads total. With the help of others, we are also striving to include a bar of soap, a set of underwear and a wet bag per stash too. Operation Christmas Child will be our primary vehicle in sending this first shipment but we want to continue beyond that. We have several contacts in various organizations and missions, and we are working on narrowing down where we feel they would best go.

In this picture you'll see our little "booster" pads included too. We made these thinner boosters to lay on top of the pad to add for extra absorbency on heavier days.

And that's kind of what has been on my heart and mind for the last month! xoxo

Benefits of Pretend Play + Giveaway

Have you ever given it a second thought that your child pretending or dressing up actually has psychological benefits and reasons? Great Pretenders, a children's costume and dress-up company, opened up the discussion with me regarding how children playing dress up actually helps promote their development and is more than simply 'just playing.' Read Kate's 5 reasons why pretend play benefits children and check out a fun giveaway we have in store!

_____________

Children learn by imagining and doing. The process of pretending builds skills in many essential developmental areas. Dress-up play is vital to a child’s development. According to licensed child psychologist Dr. Laurie Zelinger, “It fosters the imaginative processes, and allows for play without rules or script. Dress up allows for experimentation, role play and fantasy.“

Major benefits include:

Social and Emotional Skills

Dress up allows for experimenting with the social and emotional roles of life. Through cooperative play, children learn societal rules such as how to take turns, share responsibility, and creatively problem-solve. Character play means that the child is "walking in someone else's shoes" and it encourages teamwork along with an interest in peers. The child also learns to negotiate which helps teach the important moral development skill of empathy. Since children see the world form their own point of view, cooperative play helps them understand the feelings of others. 

Language Skills

When children engage in pretend play, you will hear words and phrases you never thought they knew. Pretend play requires children to invent and tell stories and since almost all children narrate their pretend play experiences, they train their minds to transform ideas into words. Children usually mimic words and ideas from parents, teachers, daycare or what they hear on TV. This repetition builds vocabulary and helps kids visualize what they say, especially when adults offer feedback to help kids better understand the words they use. This also helps with grammar – they may not know the rules but they are training themselves to speak like adults. This also helps make the connection between spoken and written language — a skill that will later help them to read.

Self-Control

Young kids typically have little self-control. During pretend play, children have to take a role and play within those boundaries, especially when other kids are involved. Studies show that children control their impulses significantly better during pretend play than at other times. Did you ever wonder why parents often make up a game to get their children to eat their vegetables or finish chores? Transforming an unappealing task into a make-believe game is a popular trick among clever parents and educators.

Problem Solving Skills

Pretend play also provides your child with a variety of problems to solve. Whether it’s the logistics of sharing toys or a pretend problem the children are escaping from, the child calls upon important cognitive thinking skills that he will use in every aspect of his life, now and forever. Role playing games lead children to face situations that far exceed kids' real-life experiences. Children work out confusing, scary, or new life issues. Through these role plays, children become more comfortable and prepared for life events in a safe way. Children often use pretend play to work out more personal challenging life events too, whether it is coping with an illness in the family, the absence of a parent or divorce, or a house fire. Although kids may not always act logically during tough pretend dilemmas, the very process of problem solving becomes habitual. By practicing problem solving in an artificial environment, kids are better prepared to think of creative solutions to their own real-life problems.

Self-esteem

By giving your child complete control in their pretend world and accepting them as a silly character, you are enhancing their self-esteem. While they use their own initiative to develop story lines, their creative imagination to expand stories and their own personality to choose a character they enjoy, you are enhancing their self-esteem by allowing them complete power in the world & enjoying it with them. Take for example superheroes. Considering the thrill children get out of pretending to be a grown-up, it's no wonder that they're also crazy about mimicking the most powerful version of adults: superheroes. Pretending to be Batman or Wonder Woman allows a toddler to feel brave and invincible, which helps them develop self-confidence. Similarly, all that running and leaping keeps them active and builds strength, balance, and coordination.

-Kate Muddiman, Creative Director, Great Pretenders

“Confidence is brought about in children by the realization that they have the ability to be anybody they want in this life and accomplish anything they desire. Our goal at Great Pretenders is to help kids achieve that level of confidence and to start young” 
--

"Surely pretend play has many benefits for child development but one of the main things is that it’s also FUN for parents and for children! It’s a great bonding experience, especially when you participate in your child’s make believe world." 

Great Pretenders offers a variety of quality childrens dress up costumes and accessories - perfect for Halloween and every day play! Today I'm excited to offer one Pierogie Mama reader the opportunity to win a Fancy Nancy dress (ARV $35 CDN). Check out the giveaway widget below and cross your fingers!

This giveaway is over - thanks to all for entering! 

Keep an eye out for more Pierogie Mama Giveaways.

Disclosure: This post is sponsored by Great Pretenders. All opinions expressed as my own. 

Sankofa Diapers Review & Giveaway

Sankofa: San Kofa in the Akan Language of West Africa means going back to our roots.

Sankofa Diapers, owned by Winnie and her husband, is more than just a business to them. Growing up in Ghana, cloth diapering was the norm for Winnie. I asked her what it's like to cloth diaper in Ghana, and she told me: 

"Most families rely on good old fashioned prefolds and plastic pants. All rural families rely on their prefolds and covers for their diapering needs. People don't even use wipes. You just get a cup of water when baby goes potty and wash them up before you put a new one on. 

Most people in the suburbs still use the same methods. 

But there has been a lot of exposure to disposables in the cities. SO many brands to count and so most people in the cities and some in the suburbs are turning to disposable. Most Ghanaian women these days are working moms and do not want to deal with washing diapers when they get home. 99% of homes in Ghana wash by hand. I personally washed my diapers by hand when I visited with my then 18 month old in 2011. Wasn't a big deal to me because that is how I know it to be done before I came to the United States and owned a washer and dryer.

Main difference between the two [rural and suburban] is that educated Ghanaians today think everything done or promoted in the developed countries as golden...

Cloth diapering is becoming a thing of the past and is more for less educated or less fortunate families. Just as eating fast food has become the norm for the "well to do."

Children potty trained really quickly because they are allowed to play around in underwear when they start walking. Most families like mine started elimination communication around 2 months old. You were put on the potty every morning at a particular time until you pottied. And so we learned pretty early. I remember my mom waking my brother up twice every night to pee until he could get up and do it by himself without help."

How interesting to come from a perspective where cloth diapering is for the underclass whereas here it almost seems like cloth diapering families are viewed from an 'elite' angle - the diapers cost more to start out and they take more time to care for and prepare (when in reality it saves you SO much money!). 

I had the chance to review a Sankofa Diaper and I wanted to share about this unique diaper.

First things first: this is a one size pocket diaper. The sizing runs true to most other brands - I feel like most kids from about 9-30 lbs could comfortably fit and play in these diapers. It features cross over snaps so that you can use it on a skinnier baby. 

Next I want to draw your attention to the inserts. They are a blend of bamboo and microfiber - thirsty bamboo on the outer layer with a microfiber core. I'm a huge fan of bamboo inserts because Penny is a fast wetter - many of our standard inserts and covers that we've been using for well over 18 months simply cannot absorb quickly enough. Bamboo does the trick! 

Then there's this unique twist with Sankofa Diaper inserts - take a look at the snaps.

The inserts feature snaps so that you can stack the two sizes of inserts on top of each other (great for night time or heavy wetters) but you can also adjust them based on where your child wets more often - do they wet more towards the front (boys) or back (girls). Genius!

And then there's the fun part - all the prints! We were sent the 'froggy princess' print, which has been a huge hit with Penny. Her nickname from her babcia (Polish for 'grandma') is Zabka, which means 'froggy.' Over the last few months Penny has amassed a small family of "buddies" (froggies) and when I pulled this diaper out of the mail, she truly squealed in delight and could not wait to put it on.

We've been loving this diaper as a new addition to our stash, and the versatility of orienting the inserts based on where your little one wets is really awesome.

Want to win your own Sankofa Diaper? One lucky winner will win a 3 pack these sweet dipes! Check out the giveaway widget below to enter. This giveaway is open to the US & Canada - please read the terms and conditions for full details regarding giveaway rules.

In the meantime, you can also take advantage of 15% off your order from Sankofa Diapers a Pierogie Mama reader! Just use code PIEROGIEMAMA

Entry-Form

Disclosure: I received product in exchange for an honest review, 

though all opinions expressed are my own. Please read the terms and conditions for complete rules for entering the giveaway.

Being Green with Lunch: Review and Giveaway

Bianca factoid: I'm the daughter of an environmental engineer. 

And then I married a plastics engineer. Read on to see how these tidbits relate to each other.

Post factoid: Are you ready to learn something new? I hope you are! I did my best to research each point included in this post, but if you find something lacking / incorrect / want clarification, please let me know. Also, are you ready for a TRIPLE giveaway??!!!

I'm pretty sure that most people will agree with me on this one - plastic has over run our world.

Ok, so that was a pretty broad statement. But have you noticed that (in the US) everything comes in plastic packaging? Sure, it's cheaper. Most of it claims to be recyclable, but that is a little misleading.  Most consumers don't know is that food grade plastic actually gets "downcycled," meaning it cannot be recycled into the same plastic product.  So your recycled milk jug won't become another jug. It might become plastic decking or a Green Toy.

When my husband and I were on our babymoon to Europe in 2010, we noticed that so many things were packaged in glass containers. Even personal sized yogurts came in adorable glass containers.

source

Starting when we moved in together, one way that I helped stretch our dollars was to pack lunches for us every day. Even though we saved a lot of money by not going out to eat every day (and ate healthier too), I quickly realized just how disposable our lunch world is. Each item was typically put into it's own Ziploc or plastic container. Sandwich baggies were used one time, even though they were perfectly fine for another use. But doing so seemed so...hippy. And isn't it a little ridiculous that you buy these one time use items just to throw away a few hours later? I began to research more "green" and sustainable options.

Bags
A lot of us are already greening our lunches by having a reusable bag or lunch box that we use to carry our food in. This is a much better option over a plastic grocery bag, or even the brown lunch bag, as it is friendlier on the environment and saves money in the long run.  Lisu, from LeLa Studio shared one of her super stylish lunch bags with me and I am so in love with it. It's a very well made bag with a nice metal zipper and is insulated to keep my lunch cold. I also can stuff quite a bit in there! These bags come in a variety of pretty patterns.  It's also gone to work with Adam many times and works part time as Penny's snack carrier when we're out and about.

This giveaway is over - thanks to all for entering! 

Keep an eye out for more Pierogie Mama Giveaways.

Sandwich bags
Sandwich baggies are another one of those silly one-time-use items that in reality can be used multiple times but so few of us care to clean and dry them after their use. The good news is that sandwich baggies are recyclable (recycle them along with your plastic grocery bags at your local supermarket) and Ziploc recently partnered with Recycle Bank to encourage consumers to recycle their bags by offering rewards points.

But that doesn't really solve the problem, does it? So here are my two choices for ridding my house of sandwich baggies.

• For wet, messy lunch items (like cottage cheese and canned fruit.. yum!) I like to use high quality plastic containers or glass.
• For everything else - from sandwiches, cut up fruits or veggies to chips - I've been loving these awesome zippered reusable sandwich baggies from Baby's Growing Up Green. 

These reusable bags come in two sizes - handy sandwich and a bigger quart size. They're double layered with a cute print on the outside and food safe vinyl on the inside - so even if you put a bunch of freshly washed grapes inside, it won't leak and get your sandwich wet in another bag! I love the zipper feature for two reasons - it's easier to keep clean than velcro (half of our cloth diaper stash is velcro and picking lint out of the teeth is a biiiiig pet peeve of mine!) and offers a more securely closed container than velcro does. I've even been able to fill it with chips the night before and store my husband's lunch in the fridge overnight and they were still perfectly crunchy the next day.

This giveaway is over - thanks to all for entering! 

Keep an eye out for more Pierogie Mama Giveaways.

Drink Containers
Nowadays there are a ton of options for carrying your drinks. Sometimes it seems like the cheapest and easiest way is just to buy a pack of bottled water from your local grocery and pack it daily. Again, we feel good about ourselves because the plastic or glass bottle is listed as recyclable but is it really necessary to have these be one time use?

As a breastfeeding mother, drinking water is absolutely essential but honestly is really difficult for me - I get so bored with it quickly! When I was pregnant, I asked my midwife is drinking tea counts as hydrating - to which she smiled at me and said no. Drink water, she said. Well drinking water is reaaaaaally hard for me! I even started trying to trick myself by heating plain water and just dunking a slice of lemon in it, to make myself feel like I was drinking tea. It worked for a while, but drinking a hot liquid is not a preferred option year round ;)

So when I came across the ZingAnything Citrus Zinger, I knew my hydration problem had been solved!

This unique water bottle features a "zinger" in the bottom of the bottle that allows you to infuse your water with a variety of citrus fruits like lemons, limes or clementines. The fruit is contained in a compartment that allows the water and some pulp to circulate, but you don't have to worry about slices of lemon slapping you in the face when you go for a drink.  Mix it up! You can use sparkling water, iced tea, add herbs such as ginger or mint, or a handful of berries too.

This giveaway is over - thanks to all for entering! 

Keep an eye out for more Pierogie Mama Giveaways.

Aren't these some great prizes? I hope you enjoyed reading about the topic and that you'll find these prizes interesting - I was pretty excited to share them with you! There are tons of daily entries so be sure to come back often and gain more points by extra tweets, pins and comments!

One final thought about packing a "green" lunch: start a little bit at a time. It's easier to make small changes over time than completely change course in one day. Be more mindful about single use items and see where you can make changes that work for you. Eventually it will add up and make a big difference!

I received products from each of the above sponsors to accurately facilitate this review. No other compensation was provided.

Giveaway rules:  This giveaway is in no way associated or sponsored by Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest. Open to US residents only, aged 18 and over. Winners will be contacted within 48 hours of the end of the giveaway via email. They have 48 hours to respond before another winner is chosen. The Pierogie Mama is not responsible for prize fulfillment, though I will advocate to make sure you receive it!

Bed Sharing

Co-sleeping and bed sharing is a controversial topic to many, but today I want to share our experience with it.

Penny has slept in our bed from day one. It started out mostly from necessity, as we were temporarily staying at my parents' house while we were relocating for Adam's new job. The guest room was a generous size but our king sized bed and two dogs just took up a lot of real estate! So we planned on bed sharing and figuring out details later.

About a week before she was born we pulled out the The First Years Close and Secure Sleeper. When researching co-sleeping options, I found lots of side car cribs that you could push against the side of the bed, keeping the infant in their own space but close. Neither Adam or I move around while we sleep, so fear of rolling onto the baby was never an issue. I also naturally felt the instinct to keep her close - and even the sidecar option seemed too far away for me. Plus, again, we were dealing with a lack of space. When I found the Close and Secure sleeper I knew this is what I was looking for. It kept the baby off the mattress and had soft side walls (I had no idea how infants slept.. did they roll around?) and also provided a barrier for either of us in case we did happen to roll closer to her.

The first few nights I couldn't bear to lay her down in it, after all - I had slept with her inside me for the last 9 months and just because she was born didn't mean that my baby didn't deserve to be enveloped in the loving arms of her parents! So she slept on my chest and this gave me relief in knowing that I would be right there in case something needed to happen.

We slept with the sleeper in between us until she was about 4 months old, at which time she was too tall for it and we packed it away. Since then she's slept on the mattress with us.

Through different developmental stages we face some challenges, such as when she first was starting to crawl she would act it out on her sleep, or during teething episodes when she is a lighter sleeper. But for the most part, a quick easy way to soothe her back to sleep is either by nursing or bringing her up onto one of our chests and gently patting her butt. There are times where she seeks out the comfort of our bodies and wants to be right next to our faces, snuggled as close to us as possible. There are nights where she wants her own space and spreads out her limbs like a star fish to keep us away. But every morning she is snuggled up against either one of us. Adam says those are the mornings that are the hardest to leave us.. and who could blame him? Lately if she wakes up a few minutes before either of us, she greets us with hugs and kisses to bring in the new day.

Bed sharing has never posed any safety issues to us. I did my research, talked with other bed sharing families and figured out a tactic that works for us. Once Penny started to move around in bed more continually, I pushed the pack n play up against my side of the bed so that I wouldn't worry about her rolling off.

We've benefited so greatly in keeping her in bed with us.

• The greatest benefit to us was more sleep for everyone. She has slept pretty soundly from the beginning, simply because she has the comfort in knowing we're close by. I didn't have to get out of bed to nurse her or tend to her, which allowed us to fall asleep quickly once done nursing. 
• By bed sharing I've been able to continue night nursing. With her being in the bed already neither one of us really is completely awake when she does want to nurse so it's allowed her to continue to nurse on demand and keep up my supply at 15 months. 
• Finally, a somewhat latent reason why bed sharing has benefited us is because we travel a lot on the weekends and by already being accustomed to sharing bed space has made the night time a lot easier. Penny isn't scared or her sleeping schedule isn't terribly thrown off because she didn't become attached to sleeping in her specific crib. The phrase comes to mind, "home is where the heart is," and this case.. bed is where mama and dada are! 

I know that bed sharing isn't for everyone. Some parents move around a lot, are smokers, the bed is too small, or simply want that division of personal space. I get it. Bed sharing (or any co sleeping, for that matter) should be beneficial and safe for the parents and baby.  Just like with any other choice in parenting, sleeping arrangements are up to each family as each situation is completely unique!

Here are a few great resources and personal stories for those who are interested in bed sharing.

• The Alpha Parent: Reasons to Co-Sleep
  Includes a handy infographic
• A Little Bit of All of It: Sharing Sleep With My Baby
  I liked this post because I can relate to her in so many ways
• That Mama Gretchen: Why We Co sleep
  Gretchen's husband shares why co sleeping was important to him, along with a link up for more co sleeping posts
• Co sleeping and Biological Imperatives: Why Human Babies Do Not and Should Not Sleep Alone
  Learn more about co sleeping terms, recommendations and research.
• Love Parenting: Why My 2.5 year old is still sleeping in our bed and why we have no plans to change that
  Reasons why this family has chosen this "unconventional" path
• Wifessionals (featuring Newfangled Housewife and Sarah from Our Journey (one of my favorite bloggers!): Preparing for a Little One - Calming Your Baby and Sleep Methods
  Two mamas stories on why they chose to co sleep, and the other one not. Both exemplify that it's all about your own family's preference and what you are comfortable with!
• University of Notre-Dame Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory
  A broad resource for more information regarding col seeping and FAQs
• SIDS, bed sharing, and answering the tough sleep questions
  A pediatrician's point of view on bed sharing
• Code Name: Mama: When Sharing Sleep Is Tiring
  Dionna shares the ups and downs of bed sharing, and how she's made it work for having 2 kids in bed too! 
• Parenting Patch: Bed Sharing with a Toddler
  Heather ran through the gambit of different co-sleeping options, and in the end her family settled on bed-sharing being the best option for them.
• That Mama Gretchen: 4 In A Bed
  Oh Mama G - you constantly inspire me. Mama, Dad and 2 kiddies in a bed. What couldn't be better?

Disclaimer:  The Pierogie Mama is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. Please consider clicking through for your Amazon purchases. It doesn't change the cost for you, but it puts a little percentage back my way

 for writing about a product that  I believe in :) 

ABCs of Me

Thanks Sarah for sharing this! This type of post reminds me of filling out these "surveys" via email in middle school (and then forwarding to everyone) and later on myspace.. Don't act like you never did one either!

{A} Age: 26

{B} Bed size: King. It started out just for Adam and I..then we got Romeo, and then he got too old to jump up. Then we got Squirt. Then we got Penny.. and that's when Squirt was no longer welcome up ;)

{C} Chore you hate: folding the laundry. I don't mind doing the laundry, I don't mind stuffing cloth diapers. But I hate folding laundry. To the point where the only folded items in our house are linens. Everything else is either stuffed in a drawer or hung.

{D} Dogs: Romeo and Squirt. Also known as "Poof-poof" and "Squirty McWigglebottom" 

{E} Essential start to your day: Snuggles with my Pennypot!

{F} Favorite color: Lately purple. Historically - pink and blue.

{G} Gold or Silver: Silver

{H} Height: 5'5

{I} Instruments you play: I played the baritone sax all the way through my freshman year of college. I was a music major that first year, where at the end I learned that although I was good in high school, college is where all the other good kids go and I was not that good in comparison ;)

{J} Job Title: SAHM!

{K} Kids: Penelope - 10 months. Furry-kids: Squirt 2 1/2 years, Romeo *almost* 13!

{L} Live: WA State

{M} Married: July 4 2009 

{N} Nicknames: B

{O} Overnight hospital stays: None, besides when I was born.

{P} Pet peeve: Leg bouncing. It makes me nervous. And Adam does it out of boredom!

{Q} Quote: When life gives you lemons, make lemonaid!

{R} Righty or Lefty: Left

{S} Siblings: Two younger bros  - Nick and Paul

{T} Time you wake up: Anywhere between 6-9a. Depending on Miss Penny's whims that day.

{U} University attended: Western Washington University

{V} Vegetables you dislike: Radishes

{W} What makes you run late: Nursing Penny really quickly before running out the door..

{X} X-Rays you've had: Teeth and shoulder, I think. 

{Y} Yummy food: Baked goods. I am totally a sucker for cakes and cookies!

{Z} Zoo animal favorite: Orcas

Will you play along?
Pick your favorite letter and leave me a comment :)
If you keep a blog and make a post out of this, leave me your link!

2012 Great Cloth Diaper Survey

Are you a current cloth diapering family? You should totally fill out the 2012 Great Cloth Diaper Survey, which is put on by the Real Diaper Association. It will only take about 15 minutes.Be sure to put me down as a referral! -thepierogiemama@gmail.com-

The RDA is also responsible for putting on the annual Great Cloth Diaper Change - which was started last year in 2011 and both years won a Guinness World Record (and guess what? Penny and I took part in that this year too!).

What do surveys like this accomplish? Well, for one - cloth diapering is making a comeback. It's cool to cloth diaper! Who can resist some of the super cute prints that you can find on a fluffy butt these days? And in the current economy, cloth diapers are a reliable, economical and environmental way to diaper your baby (and you never have to worry about running out of diapers!). So it is important to track how families use cloth diapers and what their habits are. Change 3 Things Challenge by Cotton Babies and events by the RDA are one of the few "legitimate" forms of tracking cloth diaper usage. There are tons of bloggers and retail stores that put on their own surveys, but to my knowledge none of those results are ever reported.

These statistics are important for a couple reasons:
-We can track changes over time.  Virtually every baby in the US was cloth diapered until Pampers was introduced in 1956 (although, Marion Donovan is credited for creating the first disposable diaper in 1947). By the 1990's, nearly every baby was in disposables. In less than 50 years, there was a complete and total flip in usage, where more kids were in 'sposies than cloth. A lot has changed culturally in that amount of time, and it's interesting to see families' reasons behind their choices.
-Information gained from surveys could lead to an increase in support for low income families as an inexpensive way to diaper their children. There have been recent articles depicting low income families who will reuse disposable diapers (sometimes by drying them out with a hair dryer) because they won't have the funds or the ability to get new ones. This is a huge health concern. It may not even occur to some of these families that cloth is an option. Even in a pinch, it's better to use an old tshirt as a diaper than reuse a disposable. Some areas provide assistance with offering free disposables for families in need, and there are very few cloth diaper banks throughout the country as well (Cotton Babies is responsible for the one that I know of, in St Louis).

Are you interested in cloth diapering, but don't know where to start? I'll admit, at first it was a little intimidating.  There are tons of resources out there, and I'd love to help you if you have any questions!

Interesting follow up reads:
Real Diaper Association: Cloth Diaper User Guide
Diaper Jungle's History of Diapering
Cotton Babies - Grants for cloth diapers to missions
Cotton Babies - Donate to Support for Needy families, outlet to send diapers to donate
Diapershops.com- 2011 Cloth Diapering Survey , 2012 Cloth Diapering Survey

FAQs: About me

Perhaps a little narcissistic.. but each week I keep seeing my page hits go higher and higher, and I'm guessing I've got a lot of readers out there who are new and don't really know me personally. So here goes. Some stuff about me.

Who am I?
Of course there's more to me than my little blurb on the "A mama and her family" tab. Let's see. I'm Bianca. I live in the PNW with my family of 5 - Adam {husband}, Penelope {Pierogie}, and two hounds - Romeo and Squirt. I have a degree in Sociology, focusing on family/marriage, with some demography and race/ethnicity sprinkled in. I'm 26 years old, I was born in Canada but would really more consider myself Polish-American than Canadian-American. More about that later. I love to travel, spend time outdoors (be it hiking, skiing, ATVing, boating, or something as simple as taking a stroll with my daughter and dogs), bake and cook, and have recently become semi-crafty.

Tell me more about your family.
My blog features little snippets about each of my family members, mostly Penelope because she's the cutest one. Adam and I met towards the end of college and it was completely random. If either of us had been 15 seconds early or late, we would have never met. And you wouldn't be here reading this wonderful blog. Penelope is our first child, and pretty much the best thing that ever happened to us. Her middle name is Helena, after my Polish maternal grandmother (there's that darn teaser about being Polish again.. hmm you still have to wait!). The furry members of our family, Romeo and Squirt, are also pretty awesome.  Romeo is our 12 year old samoyed-retriever, whom I've had all of his life. He is the best old dog ever. Squirt is a 3 year old miniature Australian shepherd with a heart that aims to please.

What is your strangest fear?
I wouldn't say that I am fearless, but I would say that I am willing to try almost everything, within reason, at least once. One of the things that I absolutely will never, ever, do is underwater spelunking. It scares the living crap out of me. I don't know why, and I'm not sure what ever brought this fear around. I've been in several caves before, including the Ape Caves at Mount St. Helens, the Cave of the Winds in Colorado Springs, and a cave system in Palma de Majorca that I can't remember what the name of it is now. I'm not claustrophobic or scared of the dark. I would love to learn how to dive. But I just have no desire to be in a position where I can't come up for air if I need to. It's not that irrational, really.

If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?
That's sort of a silly question because I have every intention of going to pretty much all the places that I dream of going. A short list of future travels include (not in order): a cruise to Alaska, Banff, Costa Rica, Hawaii, Egypt, Prague, Venice, return to southern Italy, Greek Isles, Australia/New Zealand. Being that I plan on living for hopefully another 60 years, I think that's manageable. Two places that I'd like to visit but am not sure if it will happen are Morocco and India. Mainly because those two cultures are so foreign to me and I am afraid that I'd get lost in all of the people. Plus, Adam is not quite as adventurous in his traveling as I am so it would take a lot of prep work to convince him to go to either of those places.

What is your favorite beauty product?
I'm not really one for getting super glammed up, I don't really do my hair (I'd love to, but don't have the patience and my hair pretty much returns back to it's normal wave within a few hours) and my clothing style is.. comfortable.. with a camp counselor kind of feel. Lol. That's the best way I can explain it. My typical ensemble is a button up shirts, jeans, flip flips, fitted tees. I don't wear a lot of makeup..because I don't have to. I've been blessed with pretty good skin, so any make up that I wear is just as an accent. So, that is limited to some eye shadow, eye liner and mascara. Yep, that's it. But, back to the question - my favorite beauty product of all time is hot oil for your hair. I normally use V05's hot oil, but I've been experimenting with some home recipes and am still tweaking it. I swam all 4 years in high school and hot oil was my only saving grace for my hair.

Ok, so that question about being Polish. What gives?
Both of my parents were born and raised in different parts of Poland, and immigrated to Calgary in the 80's, and met there. They had me, my dad took a job as an environmental engineer in the States and we moved south when I was 3. My little brother was born when I was 5. I'd say that we spoke exclusively Polish at home until I was about 10 or so. After that, I started sneaking some into sentances and my parents really couldn't stop me from there. But my mom would cook traditional Polish meals almost each night. I've been to Poland a handful of times, the most recent being about 11 years ago. It's about time to go back. So because being Polish and having that Polish culture in my childhood was much more a part of my life than being Canadian on my passport, that's why I say I consider myself to be more Polish-American and Canadian-American.

What are your priorities in life?1. Take care of my family, starting with Penny and my husband. I do this physically, emotionally, mentally.
2. Delight in the Lord. I became a thoughtful/intentional Christian shortly after Adam and I started dating, and this faith has brought me through a lot of troubled and happy times. I don't talk too much about it openly because it's something very personal and close to my heart..many times I don't really have the words to describe how I feel. But it's there.
3.  Always be learning something new. My husband's favorite thing to say about college (and I whole heartedly agree) is that going to college fundamentally teaches us how to learn; not just teaches us the facts/theories about what we are majoring in. For as long as I can remember I've always been researching something new, and in the end I feel like I know a little bit about a wide range of things. This blog has been a great platform in doing so.
4.  Live presently in each day. Especially after Penelope was born, I knew that it would be so easy to just "get through" each day because of exhaustion or busyness. But this is what life is about! So I try to be sure not to zone out or get into a rut in my life, marriage or relationship with my daughter. It's not that hard because I am so thankful for the life that I have!

Pet Peeves -Go:
1. People who don't know the difference between "your" and "you're," "there" "their" "they're". Another thing is when you see this on a grocery store sign: $.02. It's not wrong, but why not just write 2¢?
2. People who complain about their kids. You're lucky to have them, so be the best parent you can be and quit your whining.
3. Talking to other cars while you're driving (my husband does this all the time). "Thanks subaru for cutting in front of me."
4. Not taking the trash out before visitors come over. Not sure why, but it just bothers me.
5. Booger tracks under kids' noses. I know it's not their fault, and often times there's just nothing to be done about it.. but will someone just clean their face for them??
6. Facebook status posts that are like "Ok facebook I'm going to take a shower.. see you later". This is a guaranteed way to have you be removed from my feed, if not my friends.
7. Texting like "R U OK?" or ebonics like "boi"
*this by no means is an exhaustive list.. just what I was feeling at the moment :)

Ok.. So .. I think that's pretty much all I can think of for now.  If you have any questions about me, email me and maybe I'll include it on a follow up post in the future!

Changing it up: A reprieve from our LAT relationship

As many of you know, Adam and I haven't quite been "living together" in the traditional sense since October 31st - when I was 21 weeks pregnant.
He accepted a new position as a design engineer that would eventually relocate us almost 4 hours away from our home. Our *almost* completed renovation. In short, this decision was made for the long term benefits - the number one reason being that he would now have work benefits. Other reasons included this being a position that he was more interested in and we'd be placed roughly in between both of our families. You can read more about our annoucement here.
In the interim, because I was pregnant, we decided that I would stay back, finish working at my current job, and he would work up north. We'd finish our renovation and sell the house. As the due date got closer, we'd stay at my parents' house and I'd deliver in my hometown and once the house sold we'd get our own place closer to Adam's new work. Meanwhile, Adam would divide his time between staying with us (and absorbing a horrendous daily commute) and staying closer to work with friends and family.

Well, for those of you keeping track, Penny is now almost 4 months old and we've been more or less living apart for about 8 months.
Then, a couple weeks ago we were presented with a wonderful opportunity by Adam's cousin to stay at her apartment while she takes an internship out of state for 6 weeks. This shortens Adam's commute to about 30 minutes and we get to see each other like a normal couple every night! Hallelujah!  We made the move on Monday and I've spent the last few days organizing. The apartment building is really nice, with a beautiful courtyard and a cafe that serves wine, beer, sandwiches and gelato. We are so looking forward to this break, back to 'real life,' as I call it.

Believe it or not, the "married but living apart," or "living apart together / LAT" situation is not uncommon for couples these days. Most of the time it's for financial/career choices, such as they both have high powered careers in different cities, or they can't get jobs in the same commuting radius. Sometimes it's because they go to different colleges. Sometimes their lifestyles are so different that they'd just rather not share a home, but are in a committed relationship. I learned out this idea in my Sociology of Marriage and Family course in college, and never once thought that I'd be a part of this small, yet growing, demographic. In a really interesting study by the National Institute of Health (and yes, this is a real study, not just the reuter's boiled down version of it), young people are more likely than older people to be in LAT relationships, most often living with other adults such as their parents.  They are also more likely to have a college education than their cohabitating (married or not) cohorts.  For others, it's simply a lifestyle choice.  In a lifestyle article, an older couple interviewed preferred it because they were able to keep their independant lives, routines and finances. They likened it to being "on a first date" after a few days apart. For younger couples, they are more likely to live together in the future, which suggests that this is just a step in the process, rather than a lifestyle choice.

If a sociologist were to knock on our door today and ask me why we are choosing not to live together, first off I'd jump for joy that I'm being included in a sociological study (my degree is in Soc), and for reals my answer would be our choice can be categorized as due to work/financial reasons. We want to sell our home before picking up another mortgage or lease. Living apart, but still together, allowed Penelope and I to have a stable environment where I was supported during the end of my pregnancy, post partum and acclimation to becoming a new mama.  Adam toughed it out and divided his time between staying with family (closer to his new job) or commuting the sometimes 2-4 hour drive back to where Penny and I were. Although this has been a blow to our social life together, we've been able to maintain financial stability during this transition and in so many ways our relationship has grown stronger.  I don't recommend it for fun, but I can say that with hard work from both partners it's possible to come out happier in the end.

What are your thoughts? To be clear, I'm talking about couples who are in

long-term relationships where they see a future; versus trial-separations or friends with benefits.

How does it affect family when mom and dad don't live together (not a divorce or separation issue)?
Are you still considered a couple if you share different households (beyond the dating relationship)?

Have you ever been in a period where you are in a LAT relationship? How did it affect you?