Yet another post that has been a few months in the making! The girls celebrated their birthdays in March, and I'm just now getting around to filling you all in on the details. Whoops!
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Penny and Ruby shared their birthday celebrations again this year. Last year we held off on Penny's birthday celebration because we weren't quite sure when Ruby would be born (she was born a week after Penny's 2nd birthday), then we rolled together a "meet the baby" with Penny's party. We decided to keep the tradition going and celebrated them together again this year.
To give myself a few months of preparation I asked Penny (who would be turning 3) what kind of party she would like. She thought about this and very seriously responded that she wanted a fairy party with a "sharp tooth" birthday cake. We had watched the original Land Before Time and she was also quite in love with Dinosaur Train, so it made sense that this would be combined with the overall obsession with all things princessy that has lasted the last 9 months or so. And thus, the idea behind the fairy-dinosaur birthday party was born.
I wanted the party to be a memorable one for Penny and her friends. Alas, I'm not terribly crafty thanks to the wonders of Pinterest I was able to pull off a budget-friendly themed party by thrifting and asking around for most of our items.
First, I have to show you this.
Isn't she adorable? I talked to Carly when I was planning the party and she came up with this little cutie. I had a clay cake topper made for Penny's first birthday as well, so I guess this will be our first birthday tradition in our family. Carly's shop is full of different cake topper ideas. Once I found the little dino that I liked, she got the colors down and added the adorable touches like the little hair bow (which actually ended up being very similar to the hair bows that Penny and Ruby wore at their party) and even the little eyelashes for the final girly touch. There's a special shelf in my Sister Room that I have in mind to display these special treasures. Be sure to check out her shop for a handmade cake topper!
No party is complete in my mind without delicious food, so I made sure that our menu was catered towards toddler appetites, keeping a minimum on sticky fingers and messes as well as having a dinosaur theme.
On the menu -
Watermelon T-rex heads
Stegasaurus eggs (deviled eggs with a twist)
T-rex teeth (cheese triangles)
Pteranadon wings (chicken wings)
Corpolite (meatballs)
Bronto Chow (veggie platter)
Chips and Lava (chips and salsa)
Primordial ooze cups - instead of traditional cake, I made dirt cups and added gummy dinosaurs on top. My husband made this awesome platter!
You've probably seen something similar floating around on Pinterest, but it's truly not that hard to make. Just make sure that the models that you use are solid and not hollow.
I also made this awesome paper birthday banner, which is the pinnacle of my craftiness but it came out really well! I learned a lot from making this one, so I think I'll try my hand at it again for different seasons or events.
The only other decoration that I used were thrifted dinosaur models, which I added tutus and wings to. A little bit of frilly pink lace, hand cut wings and hot glue did the trick.
Ok, I've talked about food (check), decorations (check), now for the fun, right? The weather was forcasted as an unseasonably warm 65 degrees, so I decided that we'd have a dinosaur egg hunt. It was about 3 weeks before Easter, so sourcing the eggs wasn't hard. We hid over 200 eggs in the yard and with almost 2 dozen toddlers in attendance, it wasn't a very long egg hunt at all!
My mom also painted a cute mural inspired by the shark birthday party that we were invited to last summer.
We ended with a little birthday song and more fun time with friends.
The girls were born 2 years and a week apart in March. It was awfully convenient to be pregnant at the same time because I didn't have to change anything about my maternity wardrobe! I thought that I'd luck out and get to pass on all of Penny's clothes to Ruby, but no such luck. Miss Ruby grows more quickly than Penny did; in fact there are many outfits that they share currently. But the silver lining is that it definitely cuts down on dresser space to not have to have two entirely separate sets of clothes for them!For as different in size they are, their differences in personality are also becoming more evident.
Over the last year we've learned that Penny is very much a little version of my husband, Adam. She has the same complexion, his eyes and definitely his love for sleeping in. She has a very analytical mind and I could see an interest in STEM in her future.
When she was 2 years old she was still very much into all things Elmo. Since then she's moved on to being deeply in love with the princesses. Frozen was the thing in our house for a large part of the year, but her big cousin Ella expanded her horizons (and showed her how fun dress up is) so now she has equal love for the different Disney gals. Closer to her third birthday she started watching the show Dinosaur Train and has quickly learned over two dozen different dinosaur species and is really good at pronouncing the 4-5 syllable names (Argentinasaurus, deinosuchus, troodon, pteranadon, just to name a few). This is what sparked her inspiration for a dinosaur-fairy themed birthday party.
Much of this year was spent at home, keeping quiet and getting a handle on having two kids. We have had many adventures with cousins, friends and have worked on making sure she gets a good social outlet with kids her age too. In this next year I'm looking forward to getting more time to sitting down and doing "school work" with her, because that's definitely slid to the backburner.
She also had her very first hair cut, her bangs were just too far down into her face so I gave them a little trim. If you've seen pictures of Penny through the months, you'll know that this girl took a long time growing these precious hairs. She also potty trained at 30 months.
Miss Ruby is definitely going to give me a run for my money. She's definitely a trouble maker! She loves opening drawers, figuring out what's inside, manipulating objects and God help us if she doesn't get her way! For the last couple weeks she's been waking up in the middle of the night and wanting to bonk my head or push her head into my face really hard. I'm not sure why, perhaps it's teething, but when I gently tell her no.. she gets really upset! And she never cries at night! Then there's also the cute-but-not-so-cute times where she flops onto the floor and throws a mini tantrum. Those quickly pass and she's back to her bright-eyed-happy self.
My coping mechanism for transitioning to two kids this year has been mainly that Penny leads what activities we do for the day and Ruby is along for the ride (literally, babywearing has saved my life). Now that she is standing, walking with assistance and taking those precious first steps, Ruby is getting a say in what we do too. Now that spring is here we've been outside more often and she has gotten to be on the ground and she is really not entirely ok with this. I can't say that I blame her, for her entire life until this point she's always been up and away. Now I'm encouraging her to get dirty, play in the bark and dirt, touch the grass and feel all the textures. It's taking some getting used to.
She truly adores her older sister. When she wakes up from her nap, the first person she seems to look for is her. If she wakes up first, I take her to crawl into Penny's room and Ruby always exclaims with such glee when she discovers Penny within the sheets. They both play together (I caught them conspiring not too long ago) and even have those typical sister battles over the same doll or book.
Words are coming along, she's still sticking to "mama," "dada," "Nee-nee" (Penny), "this this" (when she points to something)"tickle tickle"and we're working on "book" and discovering body parts (she is very proud of knowing where other people's noses are). It seems that at the moment she is somewhat afraid of the water, there's some nights where she's really against going in the bath tub and during a recent visit to the pool she was really quite scared.
Most pediatric dentists will say that your child should go in for their first visit when they get their first tooth or have their first birthday.
Penny will be 3 years old (!!!) next week and I had been intentionally delaying her first visit because she is normally very shy and easily spooked. I wouldn't say that Penny is a child that truly suffers from anxiety in new situations; her temperament is just on the sensitive side and I have always carefully focused on honoring her when she says "no," or shows her discomfort. This isn't a focus on letting my girl always get what she wants; because there definitely have been times where she has to be overruled for her own health or safety. I focus on that she is a person with feelings who can't always truly explain why she is uncomfortable and as her parent is it my job to advocate for her and discern where and when it is appropriate for her to be encouraged beyond her boundaries.
As an example, when she was about 18 months old I started going to MOPs for my first year. Each time I dropped her off at childcare she would be tearful and cry the entire time. I gave it a few meetings to see if it was a growing pain. Afterall, until that time I was her caregiver 90% of the time. It would be rare for me not be with her, and if I wasn't then it was either her dad or grandparents. MOPs was her first experience in being cared for by "stangers." After 5-6 tries, it was obvious that she wasn't enjoying herself and it was outside of her comfort zone. I decided that in spite of the fact that I really wanted to participate in MOPs that year, it was best for us to stay home and work on her confidence in smaller settings. We started doing more play date with new friends and went to story time at the library.
Ruby's birth really catapulted Penny into becoming more confident. It was a tough thing for me to accept and embrace that my two year old girl sort of had to learn how to "fend" for herself when the new baby came. Mama's attention was now divided into two and now Penny had to find ways to occupy herself while I nursed Ruby or was unavailable. She grew beautifully in this new transition and flourished with the "free range" time.
When MOPs started up again in September this year, she was still a little anxious but for the most part had a great time. She found a couple of the MOPPETs (caregivers) that she trusted and they learned that she just needed to be held for the first few minutes while she surveyed the situation. Now she literally runs down the hall and barely gives me a glance when I drop her off. My heart grew knowing that the small sacrifices that I had made in delaying some experiences was now paying off. My shy girl was becoming a social butterfly.
With this new found bravery I knew it was time to start introducing more experiences that she was due for. I wanted to be sure that her first experience with the dentist was one that she would understand (at her developmental level) and where she could be inspired to be brave.
The time finally came where I felt confident that Penny had the chance at a good experience at the dentist. I started looking around at good recommendations for a local pediatric dentist. Luckily I was unanimously recommended to a pediatric dentist that is in our small town so I quickly make an appointment a week later.
One of my ways to help Penny prepare was by already having set the foundation of being comfortable with dental care. We have been using Jack n Jill natural toothpastes for over a year and she also loves having her teeth flossed!
The day before her dental appointment I found a couple videos on youtube that would show her what to expect. She is already very familiar with Elmo and Sesame Street, so this video was an easy introduction.
I also found a video made by a dental office that walks you through the experience. Children seem to learn better by watching other children perform, so she really learned a lot in watching this older girl go through her first dental experience.
Get crafty and make some tooth art with chalk or paint.
Help your child learn what foods are good or bad for their teeth with magazine clippings
So the day came where we visited the dentist! I prepped Penny by talking about how the dentist would be polishing her teeth ("With bubblegum?!" she would exclaim) and that she would get a brand new toothbrush too.
Our dentist's office was bright, colorful and filled with popular books that she recognized - also a big factor in her comfort level. She immediately picked out the Frozen and Cinderella Little Golden Books and read while I filled out her paperwork.
The hygienist came back and brought us to her chair. The office had an open floor plan so the kids could see each other in the chairs. Another encouragement to be brave!
Just like in the video, she showed Penny all of the different instruments and gave her a lot of compliments to get her comfortable. She went on a ride in the "big girl chair," which she actually gladly sat on. I was expecting to sit with her, and it wasn't until the polishing that she asked me to sit with her. We encouraged her by talking about how beautifully sparkly her teeth and she was allowed to hold the mirror. They gave her a plastic version of the dental mirror to take home too. Getting her to sit still long enough to polish all of her teeth was the only hard part, but for a 3 year old's first visit she did great. Oh, and no cavities either! :) I was really happy that this dentist was willing to work with us regarding educating us on our choices with fluoride.
Overall it was a great experience and I couldn't be more proud of her. It's a great accomplishment for the child who didn't let anyone else but her mama and daddy hold her for her first 18 months. It takes a lot of bravery to trust that everything will be ok and I am so thankful that she trusts me enough to allow me to push her comfort level when it's appropriate.
You're going to hate me. Potty training has been soooo easy for us!
As more and more of Penny's cohorts were potty training, I grew anxious to see what was in store for us. We had a couple experiences with potty interest when she was about 15 months old, and then I got pregnant and *I* lost interest in potty training and resigned myself to the couch. This past summer was also a failed attempt (mainly because, again, I couldn't keep up while having a 3 month old strapped to me). So we relaxed, enjoyed the fall and as the holidays approached, I had no hopes of her potty training because what kid potty trains around the holidays? We're constantly out of the house, out of our routine, the excitement of aunts, uncles and cousins...and how do we deal with public bathrooms?
It all started a couple days before Thanksgiving, where Penny woke up from her naps dry. I decided to give it a shot and put her in some Gerber cotton training underwear. I maniacally followed her around, pestering her if she needed to go potty and within 20 minutes or so she said she did so we got out her princess potty seat and plopped her down. To her great delight, it came and I rewarded her with a chocolate chip from a pretty jar that sits in our bathroom. We continued this for the next 3 days (with diapers during naps and bedtime) and she even stayed dry all through Thanksgiving weekend while visiting my in-laws and running around after all of her cousins.
For the following 2 weeks I would reward her with each successful potty by giving her a chocolate chip from the jar. She knows that a poop = two chocolate chips, a couple Frozen stickers and perhaps a tattoo if I have them laying around. We'd make a big deal out of successful attempts; I'd list of each person who is proud of her and I'd tell her to announce to Ruby that she went potty (because her sister's admiration is already important to her!).
Over the last week I cut out the chocolate chips for going potty. The little stinker was starting to play me and would go potty even if she just had one drop (because any potty meant a chocolate chip). So mama wised up and changed the rules to chocolate chips for poop (and she won't let me forget that she gets 2 Frozen stickers and a tattoo).
If I were to give anyone some tips on how we did it, this is what I would suggest.
Keep it simple. I'm sure that she could have potty trained when she was 15 months old (not kidding), but the timing wasn't right. I was in my first trimester and exhausted. The following round of interest was when Ruby was brand new and it just didn't work for me to wear newborn Ruby and be standing over the toilet with Penny. So even though the timing wasn't ideal and I didn't get to capitalize on an early potty trainer, waiting until she was absolutely ready made it so much easier and less stressful on each of us.
Figure out what reward system your child wants, and go for it. Even though we generally stuck to the one or two chocolate chip rule, if convincing her was a little more difficult that time I would allow her to grab more than her allotment. The stickler for rules in me had a problem with this at first, but I remembered that we're dealing with a child and honestly the toilet can kind of be a scary thing. Keeping it upbeat, happy and rewarding is important.
If you are crafty by any means, sew a panel of fabric with your child's hero onto the front of the underwear. As you can see by my picture, it doesn't have to be perfect. Whenever I would put Penny into her underwear I would tell her "Remember, we're wearing our Frozen underwear. So don't pee on Elsa and Anna!" That was a huge motivator for her! I know that there is Frozen print underwear available, but I couldn't find the Gerber training underwear style and I already had a bunch of plain ones and also extra fabric laying around.
I have to say, after cloth diapering 2 kids for 9 months, I am relieved in the break from laundry work. Penny is now 33 months old. It's a bittersweet transition though, because I miss that fluffy butt of hers. We still put on a diaper for naps and night time, even though most times she ends up dry. It just ensures that she will sleep longer. She's also passed the torch to her little sister is my resident cloth diaper model.
How is potty training going for you? Any tips to share?
This past November marked a year since my older daughter, Penny, weaned on her own. She was about 20 months old and I was halfway through my second pregnancy with her little sister, Ruby. Choosing to nurse through pregnancy was not a decision that was lightly made; but it was a pure conviction that this was right for my girl and I.
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When I became pregnant with my second child in June of 2013, I realized I had a big decision to make. My daughter, Penny, was 16 months old, and I was no where close to being ready or willing to wean her. Was it possible, or even recommended, for me to continue nursing through my pregnancy?
My gut reaction was that yes; I can and should. My daughter still nursed 4-5 times a day and although she was nearing night weaning, I wasn't ever planning to make us quit cold-turkey. Even knowing in my heart that I wanted to continue to nurse, I knew I'd have a tough road ahead of me.
At the end of my first trimester I blogged about why continuing to breastfeed in the early part of my pregnancy was my saving grace. No, it wasn't always comfortable. Pregnancy hormones were coursing through my body, I was sore and nauseated. But for my toddler none of that made a difference. She had no idea why mama was so tired all the time. Some moms might think that breastfeeding during pregnancy is inconvenient, another worry on their plate on what to do when the new baby comes, but for me it was a break. It was a break throughout the day, several times, to just rest and relax with my daughter...because Lord knows there was little else to stop her!
In my second trimester the discomfort truly began to peak but I still pushed on. I purchased Adventures in Tandem Nursing to read up on what to expect and how to help cope. As my belly ballooned we started side nursing more often and she began to naturally cut back on frequency and duration. I began to suspect that I was drying up at around the 17-18 week mark, and there were many times where nursing was just plain painful. I put up a few boundaries to help keep the nursing relationship a beneficial and enjoyable one for the both of us and that worked for the following month.
At 23 weeks we took our planned babymoon. Because nursing had steadily decreased to only 1-2 times during the day and once at night time, I prepared myself that the night before we left may very well be the last time I nurse Penny. It's fairly common for that age to wean over night, especially because I had never spent a night away from her until that night. So I snuggled my Penny close, quietly reflected on the past 20 months that we shared this special bond, and let it go. My husband and I left her in the capable hands of her grandparents and took a refreshing break to prepare for our second child (that was due the day before Penny's 2nd birthday...but she had other plans!). When we returned, Penny wasn't terribly interested and I never offered again. Weaning her was an emotional time for me, it meant that after a 9 month pregnancy and 20 months of nursing, she no longer physically needed me for nourishment. But the excitement of the next baby coming eased my heart a little, and I wondered if she would regain interested once she saw her little sister nursing.
Ruby was born a week after her sister's 2nd birthday, and my oh my how my life has changed! Having 2 children just a hair over 2 years apart has not been easy, but also has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. As Ruby grows and gains more mobility, Penny has begun to interact with her more and I catch some of the sweetest moments that they share together. Though Penny never asked to nurse again, she understands the importance of it. Sometimes when Ruby is crying, she exasperatingly says "Mama, give Ruby MILK!"
This was originally published as a gust post on Mama Pure.
This post was originally part of the Thankful for our Followers Giveaway Hop
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2 years ago, I began the journey of taking my blog to the next level. When I started this blog in February of 2012, my goal was to keep an online journal / baby book for Penny. After a few months of writing about topics that were important to me, I saw my stats and numbers increasing! As an attachment and natural parent, I found that my parenting style was supported and influenced by bloggers sharing their experiences and I wanted to be a part of that. There were so many occasions where I doubted my gut and instincts because what I was doing wasn't always the way my friends and family did. I never got harsh judgement, mind you, but I would get such relief when I'd find a blog post, written by another blogger, talking about and justifying some of the choices I was making. This experience drove me to also become a source for moms in their journey.
One of the first businesses that I worked with was Smiling Tree Toys! I approached Kathleen because I loved the esthetic of wooden toys and their approach to providing all natural, safe products for families. We worked together on my first review and giveaway - Penny's first Christmas ornament! It was only fitting to work together again on Ruby's first Christmas ornament too.
I'm happy to see that even after two years, the quality and craftsmanship with Smiling Tree Toys remains the same, even though the popularity of the business grows! The ornaments (as well as any of the other wooden products in their shop) are created from sustainably harvested American Maple trees and finished with their homegrown Camelina oil and beeswax. These ornaments will be heirloom pieces for my girls; that will be hung on Christmas trees for many decades past my time and enjoyed by future generations of my family. And I think that's root of Smiling Trees Toys goal too - to create products that will be enjoyed for years and years while being respectful to our Earth and honoring the gifts it gives.
Smiling Tree Toys is expanding their product line this season - in addition to ornaments, rattles, balancing toys, wooden blocks, wooden musical instruments(and so much more!), they are launching Smiling Tree Home. Keep an eye on their facebook for more teasers and information!
You know that quiet awkwardness you sometimes see in portraits? How your smile is strained, your eyes are just a little fake and your entire posture is so stiff and unnatural? That's because you're trying to show a very personal side of yourself to a complete stranger. Portraits are hard work! Shortly after Ruby was born, I had the pleasure of working with Joanna Monger, of Joanna Monger Photography, to take our family portraits. I was a little worried as I was preparing for this event. To call Penny "shy" in new situations is a severe understatement. She was at a very insecure stage; she would cling to me and completely shut down in new situations. I knew that it would show in a picture that she's uncomfortable. Her comfort level was extremely important to me, but getting a family picture with our new addition was too. I knew this was going to be a very difficult task. Joanna and I met in January when she was at the tail end of her pregnancy with her second son and I was in my 3rd trimester with Ruby. We initially started out meeting for coffee but ended up at the local burger joint - what a sight we two pregnant gals must have been! We chatted for a couple hours about our two businesses and how we anticipate the addition of second children would be. Not too long after our meeting, she had her precious little boy and a few months later Ruby followed suit.
Ruby was a fresh 13 days old when we visited Joanna at her home studio. In addition to the challenge of getting my toddler to be at ease for the photo shoot, we asked Joanna for the trifecta of a photography session - newborn, sister and a family portrait session all into one sitting. We approached our appointment with caution and hoped for just one great photo. Just one is all I ask for! As soon as we arrived I could tell that Penny wasn't completely at ease. Her eyes roamed around Joanna's studio, eagerly searching for something to play with. Joanna quickly brought out necklaces, boas and a toddler sized rocking chair. She got down to Penny's level and simply introduced herself. Imagine my shock at how quickly Penny warmed up to her! Words couldn't describe how much it meant to me that this woman knew exactly what to do. It has to be a mom thing, because within a few minutes Penny saw the environment as comfortable and safe...and as we all know, if the toddler is happy - everyone is happy! Getting along with Joanna was so easy, and that clearly shows in her photography. You can see the genuine smile on our faces - because even our eyes are happy. She caught so many wonderful moments in our studio session and my entire family was comfortable while she was working with us. Joanna also made sure that I was getting the breaks that I needed to either sit down or nurse Ruby, and took advantage of the few minutes of just Adam and Penny to take very sweet Father/Daughter portraits too.
When it was time for Ruby's newborn session, we sent Adam and Penny home so that we don't have to worry about keeping the toddler content and quiet. I gave my new little lovebug a nice top off of milk and attempted to get her into that sleepy newborn state that everyone loves for their newborn photography. ...Well, Miss Ruby had other ideas. She wasn't letting me put her down so that we could take adorable swaddled poses! Eeek! After a few attempts with only being able to catch a millisecond of snooze time, Joanna suggested that we try taking some pictures of her nestled in my arms. Those pictures ended up being my favorite...
It's so hard to believe that this tiny little girl is now 4 months old and is rolling around, pulling toys to her mouth and will be sitting up before I know it. Looking back at these precious images reminds me just how fleeting these moments are. Thanks Joanna! If you're in the greater Seattle area, don't wait! Joanna offers several styles of photography to fit what you're looking for. She offers maternity, glamour/boudoir, family, studio or in home sessions for newborn portraits, and she's currently booking 2015 seniors (better hurry!). She also has a fun "Baby's First Year" program, which documents their first year with sessions as a newborn, 6 month and 12 month old.
My husband and I were married at my parents' lake house on the 4th o' July 2009. It was the hottest day on record for the Seattle area. We chose that date not particularly because we are patriotic, but mainly because we always wanted a day off on our anniversary ;) I know, so selfish, right?
As all anniversaries go, the day is always a special one to us. Our first year anniversary was celebrated in Vegas with our best man and his wife, one of my bridesmaids..
Our second anniversary was spent wine tasting in California (little did we know that a few weeks later we'd have a confirmed pregnancy!)
The third year Penny was 4 months old and we kept it low-key with a staycation filled with hikes and a bbq dinner at the lake house where we were married..
The fourth year, which just might be my absolute favorite so far, we confirmed our pregnancy with little Ruby! This picture is on the dock where we were married.
And now for the fifth year we'll be spending the day with my in-laws. My father in law takes part in Corvette drive the town's parade every year and my niece will be throwing candy from the car (so sweet!). We'll have a family BBQ following and then the hubs and I will be off for a dinner date. Another low key anniversary (in comparison to years past), but with a 28 month and 4 month old...I couldn't ask for a more relaxing day!
What is your most treasured moment with your children? That one memory that stands out above all others?
Many parents would say that it's the first time they saw their child's face. Though I had unmedicated, natural births, I was so high on endorphins and coming down from the extremely focused experience of labor I have a very foggy memory of seeing both of my daughter's faces. Both times I was still very much "in the zone" and the flurry of excitement from everyone else was almost a distraction. Weird, right?
For both girls it has been the first time we shared a laugh together. The happiness that I've felt when that little being that I've been caring for, seemingly without any recognition or thanks, finally makes that connection with my eyes and we giggle with each other...totally priceless. I was lucky enough to actually capture that moment with Penny.
It's such an amazing coincidence that this video was taken almost exactly two years ago. Isn't it awesome that we live in an era where things like that very special moment can get caught on camera or video? I can only imagine how cool it will be to bring these up again when my daughters are older and relive a few of these with them, and even bring them out again when they have their children. What makes your kid extraordinary isn’t just the epic stuff. It’s the little things. The small moments that maybe only you see — and quietly celebrate every day. Share your love, hope and pride for your extraordinary kid by creating a personalized video that captures what makes them one-of-a-kind.The Stanford Children’s Health website has a cute little app available where you can make a sweet video note for your kids - check out our video. It definitely made me tear up a couple times, not gonna lie.
Your kid is extraordinary. Show them how much you enjoy every moment together by creating a special video of your own!
I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.
What phrase did I hear come out of my daughter's mouth the most often during the months of March and April?
"Happy Birthday, Penny!!"
Penny's 2nd birthday was on March 3rd. But her almost 2 month long birthday celebration started the weekend before. We were preparing for the birth of Ruby (as I was positive that I'd give birth at 39 weeks, that didn't happen!) and my parents were visiting. We decided to celebrate Penny's birthday so that Adam and I would get to celebrate her special day without the possible craziness of a newborn. That came and went and the day of her birthday, Adam's parents came down for dinner and cake. Fast forward to a week later and Ruby was born! That started off a train of visitors who came to help during my tricky post partum recovery for the next month. Every few days a new family member would come to visit so we'd have another opportunity of a quick celebration of Penny's birthday and Ruby's birth.
Needless to say, my silly bubbly two year old quickly made the association that when we have visitors there will most likely be presents to open!
This Sunday we rounded out this 5 week adventure of learning how to be a family of 4 with a combination of birthday / meet the baby party with our friends and family. We were so blessed with amazing (I daresay a hint of a wonderful summer?) weather of about 70 degrees, cloudless skies and a gentle breeze. The party was at our block park, which has a decent play structure, and it was the perfect setting for letting kids run around and have fun while adults mingled.
One of Penny's favorite daily chores has been collecting the eggs from our 5 chickens that we got two months ago, so in honor of that (and the proximity of Easter) we held an egg hunt as well. It was so cute seeing the dozen toddlers / older kids run around and hastily snatch up the obvious eggs. As the party went on, sometimes a missed egg was unearthed and the victor pranced around with their egg. It was so cute.
Is this not the most previous fairy you've ever seen??
It will probably be very convenient to celebrate both of the girls' birthdays at the same time for most years, but I know that eventually they will ask for their own special days as well. Or maybe they will love sharing, who knows?
My wait for Ruby began around the tail end of the 38 week mark. I had Penny at exactly 39 weeks and was fairly positive that Ruby would come at the same time too.
I had been having contractions in the evenings for several weeks but nothing like the real thing. My midwife had started to check me at 37 weeks, when I started at about 2cm and stayed fairly constant over the next several weeks. Days passed, and I reached my "estimated due date" (March 4th). No baby yet. I began to despair.
That week I decided to get swept, which kick started some things into action but ultimately I wasn't going anywhere. We had several nights where I would have some consistent contractions but they'd peter off in several hours. We invited my parents up for the weekend so that they were already here as we planned for them to watch Penny when we checked into the birth center. That Saturday we went to our local pool (which has an awesome kids water park) and my 6 year old niece dragged me around the pool ("c'mon Auntie - let's go down the lazy river!!") and kept me very active. That night I started another round of good contractions - lasting a minute to a minute and a half and 4-7 minutes apart. We got excited, thinking that tonight may be the night! But alas, morning came and a very grumpy Bianca emerged from the bedroom for breakfast with the family. False labor - you are a cruel bitch.
So it was Sunday, March 9th. I was 40 weeks and 6 days. My parents were going to leave in the afternoon. I began to get anxious because I knew that as soon as they'd leave I'd go into labor and they'd have to turn right back around. Adam and my stepdad took a quick trip to work on a school project together and were gone for a couple hours, during that time my mom and I sat and chatted while I tried to keep my mind off my gloom. Around 1:00 a round of contractions started - this caught my attention. My contractions always started after dinner; very rarely did I ever feel anything before 5:00. I kept this to myself but eventually my mom noticed that my attention was elsewhere and she asked if I was having contractions. The guys came home around 2:30 with lunch (at my request: spicy Thai food) and at the table I continued to have contractions and I was getting on edge. We timed them - 1 minute long, 4 minutes apart. Adam decided to call the midwife to see what she thought. Darlene thought it still might be early but agreed to meet us at the birth center around 4:15 to see where I was at. So at 3:45 Adam and I kissed our sweet Penny goodbye and took off in hopes that I'd be bringing home a baby shortly.
My birthing room was prepared when we arrived and Adam turned on a good Pandora station that he knew I'd like. My midwife checked me out - 4cm, not fully effaced. But these contractions were real. She gave us three options - go home for a few hours, go for a walk, or break the waters. I definitely didn't want to go home because I was afraid that the contractions would stop and that it would mean bringing Penny back into the situation when she's completely content with the grandparents at the moment. So we opted for a walk.
We walked up and down the streets in a nicer part of downtown Everett. The rule was that I had to walk through my contractions; no matter how hard it was or how teeny tiny my steps were, I had to keep moving. It. was. hard. Many of these contractions were painful enough where I was openly weeping as we walked. I lamented over what a sight I must be - a clearly very pregnant woman, in her sweats, bawling her eyes out and clinging to her husband. I thanked my lucky stars that this wasn't a small town or one where we could possibly run into someone! The icing on the cake - we walked by the local events center and they were just finishing up the home and garden show, so a ton of strangers got to witness this as well!
After an hour we returned and I got checked again. Sorry honey, no progression and your baby is sunny-side up. We were presented with the 3 options again - home, walk or water. Home still wasn't an option, walk was no longer desirable because it was getting dark. My birthing team was completely confident with breaking my waters because I was past my due date and all other risks were low. I decided to go for it - it was time to have a baby.
It was within a minute of breaking my water that I went into transition. In an attempt to help turn baby, the team had me do lunges using the side of the birthing tub. Lunges through 5 contractions, on each side. Oy. I got through my round of 5 contractions on my left side before I crumbled into my husband's arms and we decided to go into the water. This was an immense relief, though the contractions were still coming very fast and very hard. I remembered with Penny's birth that I was able to 'check out' in between contractions and rest. There was no resting here. Even in between contractions I was uncomfortable and barely paying attention to what anyone said.
The urge to push came a lot sooner than I expected and I pushed for several rounds on my knees and hanging my upper body over the edge of the tub, using Adam as support (the same way as I had done with Penny). Eventually it was time to get baby out (her heat rate had dropped) and I switched to being in a sitting position and was told to push with all my might. I got to the point where I knew I had either approached the ring of fire or I was tearing - the birth team urged me on and with a couple pushes I had my sweet baby girl in my arms!
With tears in our eyes we spoke to Ruby for the first time, welcomed her into this new world and marveled over her perfect features. She weighed in at 7 lbs 15 oz, 20.5" at 7:16pm. That's a full pound heavier and almost 3 inches longer than her sister was, sheesh!
From the moment that my water was broken to babe in arms was about an hour and 3 minutes. The only family who knew I was at the birth center were my parents - the paternal grandparents, aunts and uncles were all surprised with a picture text of Ruby and I!
This labor goes to show just how different each birth and child are! I went into labor spontaneously with Penny, had an 8 hour and 40 minute labor and she came in the morning. Over the last couple weeks I've been astonished at how quickly Ruby has grown, how different our breastfeeding relationship is and how I've emotionally coped with having a newborn again.
Well, here we are at full term and I am shocked - no baby. I had Penny at exactly 39 weeks and for this entire pregnancy I was positive that I'd have Ruby on the same week. Well, 39 came and went without anything to write home about. It feels so weird to wait on a baby, because as Penny's birth story went, we were caught by surprise when she was born. I was expecting to go over 40 weeks with Penny and so I never had that anticipation feeling. This time I set myself up and was expecting an early baby so I've been on watch since 38 weeks - I would have never imagined still being pregnant 2 weeks later!
So this girl continues to bake away and although I'm just ready to hold her in my arms, I count my blessings. I'm not in any extraordinary amounts of discomfort. My hips ache but a good chiropractic adjustment this week did the trick. My stomach skin feels stretched and itchy; but no stretch marks and my regimen of organic coconut oil during the day and having hubby rub down the belly with Motherlove Pregnant Belly Salve in the evenings has kept my skin nice and soft. Penny got to keep her birthday as her own. Ruby's due date was 3/4 and Penny's birthday is 3/3 so there was a chance for them to share a birthday. It didn't happen and we got to celebrate in a small, special way. I feel pretty prepared for this baby to come. The cloth diaper laundry is kept up on, I have lots of extra food stored in the freezer, our birth bag is in the car and I have labor food at the ready in the fridge. The blessings keep pouring in but one little blessing in particular is taking her sweet time and I just have to be patient and let her come when she is ready! :)
Penny
My big girl turned 2 on Monday but we kept it pretty quiet. Her paternal grandparents came over for dinner and cake on Sunday. We are postponing her big, fun birthday party until mid April and piggybacking a "meet the baby" event along with it.
When I remind myself about where we were 2 weeks ago in my last Pierogie Babies update, I'm again impressed at just how quickly children grow and change. Penny seems to have a good grasp on the concept of "turns" (even though she doesn't always agree with them) and is transitioning to consistently saying "please" and "thank you" rather than signing them. She working on 3 and sometimes 4 word sentences and surprises me daily with things that she picks up on. We were visiting a cousin yesterday and she pulled out a Finding Nemo book and asks me to read the Nemo book...but I haven't introduced her to Nemo yet. How did she know this? She's also become much more social at library time and at the bouncy house that we visit; which was a struggle until lately because of her shyness. We haven't been going to our MOPS group regularly due to battles with the crud or avoiding the crud so I'm not sure how she would do when she's put into a situation where I leave her but overall if she knows I'm around she appears to be totally fine leaving me and playing independently. That wasn't anywhere close to being an option 2 months ago, so I'm proud of her burgeoning courage and curiosity to play with other children.
Today my oldest is 2 years old :) What a great journey it has been! Prior to becoming pregnant I never really gave my birth options much thought. It was just something that I'd take care of when the time comes and one of my greatest influences in choosing a natural, waterbirth were from two co-workers who had both of their sons at home and my good friend Gretchen, as I followed along her natural parenting journey on her blog for about a year leading up to my pregnancy. The experiences from these three women sparked my fire in researching why I'd want to have an unmedicated birth, at a free standing birth center, with a midwife and in the water. In addition to the great amount of research that I did (I highly suggest watching The Business of Being Born and reading any Ina May book if you are interested), one of the very best ways that I was able to prepare myself for birth was to read lots of birth stories. Each story is different and provided a new clue into what I could expect to happen or prepare for. Having never witnessed a birth personally, this was the closest I could do to beginning to understand what it might be like.
Our society permeates a lot of fear when it comes to birth. The media portrays birth as this dramatic scene where emergencies run rampant, women scream in agony and tell their "war stories" afterwards. As if for some reason scaring another woman about birth is what proves that you are strong. On the contrary, I believe that a birth free of fear is the most courageous act and is the best for mother and child. Which is why I want to share mine with you today. This story is very precious to my heart and I love to share it. The part that I'm the most impressed about with Penny's birth story is that it went exactly how I wanted it to be. This has made me wonder a lot during the preparations for Ruby's birth because who knows how the second time will go. I feel confident in my ability to handle labor pains but the whole unknown about it all is kind of driving me nuts!
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On Thursday March 1 I had my 38 week appointment with one of my two midwives. This birth center has two attending midwives and I met with each one equally so that depending whoever was on call, my husband and I had already gotten to know her and she understood our wishes. The midwife, Constance asked if I would like to be checked to see how far along I was, which I happily agreed to. A quick check showed that I was at 3cm. I was elated, but Constance cautioned that it still wasn’t likely to happen soon but that I probably wouldn’t carry to 41 weeks. That day I came home, finished packing the rest of my birth bag, prepared our cameras and tried to get a few projects done. I began to experience some lower back pain, lost some of the mucus plug, and rested that evening with Adam (who came home from work early). That evening I lost the rest of the plug in the middle of the night. The next day, Friday, Adam went to work and I puttered around the house feeling great. My mom mentioned that the babybump looked lower but I didn’t feel any difference. I called Constance letting her know that I had lost the plug, and asked her opinion of whether I should go anywhere this weekend (side story: we are in the process of selling our home and at the time we were staying with my parents for the end of my pregnancy. This way the house was available for walk throughs at any time and I was getting support while my husband was at work). We planned to drive to our house to finish up some projects, which is a two hour drive from my parents’ house and the birth center that I was going to deliver at. All we needed to get done was clean the house and we were planning on listing it the following week. Constance was confident that we’d be ok, and even if I went into labor I was only a few hours away. So Adam and I drove down and made it there around 7:00p. Adam finished a few projects and I rested on the couch. We went to bed around 10:00p and I still felt completely normal. At midnight I woke up and felt what I thought was a contraction. I waited a few more minutes, and another one came. Then they started being very consistently 3 minutes long, 7-10 minutes apart. Adam and I decided that if this continues to be consistent (no matter what the length) for an hour that it would be smart to pack up and drive to the birth center. I kept track of the contractions until 1:00a and we found that they were indeed consistent so it was time to go. Adam quickly packed up the dogs and our things into the Volvo and away we went. At that point, the contractions were uncomfortable but very tolerable. I also reminded myself that I had a 2 hour ride ahead of me so I needed to keep calm! At 1:30a we were on the road and Adam turned on the hazards and very calmly drove 80mph until we saw we were coming up onto a sheriff. I told him to slow down, we don’t need the extra attention, but he decided to risk it and sped past. He started pulling over before the sheriff even turned on his lights. He approached the car, asked us why we were speeding, to which Adam and I both replied “I am (she is) in labor.” He asked if we were going to the local hospital, and Adam said no, we’re going to our birth center, about two hours away. The sheriff begins to launch into a lecture about how we can’t be speeding and that if we are going to be driving like that we either need to call an ambulance (and deliver locally) or he has to write us a ticket. I had grown very impatient at this point, as another contraction was coming, and told him to either write us a ticket or let us go, because I’m not having my baby in a hospital!! I’m pretty sure he’s not accustomed to being so directly spoken to, and he took Adam’s license to run it. A few minutes passed, and when he came back he started in on another lecture about driving safely but that he’s going to us go. We called Constance and my parents on the way to let them know we were coming home. We arrived in Lacey around 3 am and my contractions were at the “5-1-1” rule (5 minutes apart, lasting one minute for one hour). We called Constance, and she said to wait until I was to the point where I was not able to speak anymore and that Adam would have to call for me. The contractions were still very tolerable during the drive, but as soon as we came to the house I was no longer as chipper. I took a shower and was only able to find comfort by bending over the edge of the bed and having Adam rub my back or provide counter pressure. Finally at 5a I decided it was time to go and we snapped one last picture (boy did I look enthused) and got to the birth center as fast as we could, my mom followed in her car. This time around, the contractions were not very tolerable in the car. The main way I found that I could cope with the pain was to keep writing my contractions down. When we got to the birth center, I think we actually beat Constance and Lisa (the apprentice) so we had to wait a few minutes for the door to open.
I was brought into the birthing room of my choice, which was “the yellow room.” It welcomed a lot of natural light, and I knew that I’d have her during the day at this point, and the bed in this room was higher so I was able to continue to labor in the same way as I had at home. This didn’t last very long, because Lisa’s job was to keep track of the baby’s heart beat and the simple act of gently pressing the monitor to my belly sent me into contractions, which for this first check she had to hold it there for 10 straight minutes. I became very intolerant after 2. Constance invited me to the tub and as soon as I climbed in, I felt a lot better. The water wasn’t as hot as I thought it would be, but it was a lot easier to move around. I had a hard time finding a position to actually have some control in, but soon just draped my arms over the side of the tub and rested on a hip. Adam and my mom alternated between holding my arms, hand, or wiping my face with a cold wash cloth. The wash cloth was a life saver, not necessarily for keeping my face cool but following the motion as it was wiped on my face was a distraction. Each time I thought I couldn’t go any further, Adam was right there telling me that I was doing great and that I could do it. He consistently reminded me of my beauty, strength and the amazing feat I was doing for us. Shortly after getting into the water, Constance checked and announced that I was at 5cm. Lisa diligently would check the baby’s heart rate, but after 3 or 4 times I began to realize that the check was in fact sending me into contractions (in this case, a double load of contractions because she couldn’t check me during a contraction, so she would have to wait until one passed and try, which of course would start it up again) and I had my first outburst in labor - I distinctly remember telling this poor girl not to dare touch me and to keep ‘that thing’ away from me. She took it well, explained why it was needed, and I was able to regain composure but I was grumpy. From then on she was nice enough to give me a heads up a contraction ahead of time so I was able to better prepare myself. The only other outbursts I can recollect was when my water broke, I thought I had pee’d myself and lamented over the humility of it, and another time where I needed water, so my mom got up to get some, and I immediately screamed for her to come back and hold my hand. At some point Constance gave me the encouragement to get on my knees to try to open up my hips more. I was afraid to move, but Adam was able to convince me to try. Constance checked me again and announced how low her head was, and that I should be able to feel it very shallowly. This gave me such a surge of enthusiasm; my labors were working and my girl was coming. This was no drill. No going back, not getting sent home. I was here to stay until she got here. I remember telling Adam not to not be afraid. Soon I became impatient. I had felt her head, knew it was right there, and wanted her out. I knew that from here on out, it wasn’t going to be just my body doing the work for me, but that I needed the willpower to get her out. But I didn’t have the urge to push. I asked Constance if I should only push when I had the urge, and she said that I should, but the urge really didn’t come. I moved into a position where I was kneeling and would push down with my hands on my thighs and try to make the urge to push come. I started pushing without the urge. I begged my body for the urge to bear down. Finally the urge came, and hands down was the most terrifying feeling of my entire life. Even though I had hoped and wished so hard for this feeling to come, when it did I felt myself trying so hard to hold it back. I was terrified that literally all of my organs were going to come out. I was beginning to get very tired and would actually be able to fall asleep between contractions. For almost the entire labor I kept my eyes closed, but a few times that I did have them open I would focus on a droplet of water just hanging from my arm, playing a game with myself of whether the droplet would fall first or my contraction would end. Adam and I recollect that I pushed about a dozen times. After the first half, I did begin to feel tears and knew the ring of fire was coming. I was still in the kneeling position, and Constance encouraged me to get on my knees and use Adam as support, so I put my arms on his shoulders and pushed my head into my mom’s hands. I think I pushed twice this way, and although I felt like I was getting somewhere, I was tearing and it was time to turn over. In this position I felt so out of control because of not having a place to brace my legs to help push. I knew the end was near when I opened my eyes and saw a stranger in the room. To this point and the best of my knowledge, it had only been myself, Adam, my mom, Constance and Lisa in the birth center. Now there was another person there, not in scrubs, preparing something. I demanded who this person was, and at first no one knew what I was talking about (I began to think I was hallucinating). The woman came over and I saw that she was someone who I had met before at an appointment. She explained that she was the birth assistant and also a midwife. She helped Constance put on some long gloves so that she can check me, help with the stretching and I think that the baby had to be shifted into a better position. I had asked if she was facing posterior or anterior, she was anterior (I’m sure we would have known earlier because I would have experienced back labor, but all of my labor was felt between my belly button and pubic bone). I asked Constance how many more pushes I had to give, I knew I was so close but with now in the sitting position, facing forward, being impatient and tired (and deep down knowing that I never felt like I had to push but pushed anyways), I just wanted a number. She couldn’t, she said soon, I joked that she always was so qualitative and I wanted quantitative. I asked was it six more times, and she said likely 2-3, maybe even 1-2. This gave me so much encouragement, but again I got scared. I pleaded for her help, and whatever she did, whether it was by physical manipulation or her encouraging eyes, I got the baby’s head out. I took a small break, asked if it was ok to push the rest of her out, and closed my eyes and out Penelope came. Immediately she was put on my chest; I saw a baby but didn’t realize who it was. I felt the vernix on my hands, saw and felt a little wiggly body, but still didn’t get it. I looked back at Adam and asked him if this was our daughter, and he joyfully said yes. A small wet towel was placed on her to keep her warm, and Constance asked when I wanted the cord cut. I said that I wanted her to get whatever else she needed to get from it, and we waited a few minutes. The instruments were brought over, and it was determined that someone was to cut it. Adam and I had spoken about this a couple times during the pregnancy, if he was going to cut the cord or catch her, but never came to a decision. Constance ended up catching her, but I asked Adam to cut her cord. It was a very short cord, I could feel that it had to be pulled a little bit to bring the baby to my chest and then some more to get the two clamps on it. I watched Adam very gingerly bring the scissors over, and pause. I asked Constance if the cord has nerves in it, because I knew he was afraid of hurting me or Penelope. It took three snips, and Penelope was now separate from me for the first time in her life.
