Under Construction: #ThrowbackThursday Our First Renovation (Update)

Don't want to miss out on any of our renovation shenanagins? 

Click here for a full list of my posts on it!

Last week I shared some of the highlights lowlights from our first renovation, so here's what it all looked like when we were done!

 Our finished kitchen! Oh, how I miss it.

All of these cabinets were installed by my extraordinarily handy and handsome husband.

An overview of the counter tops // my favorite wall featuring the best oven of all time and my wine bar // an over the cook top faucet (perfect for filling my huge pot!) // a pop up stand for my KitchenAid mixer so that it doesn't have to sit on top of the counter all the time.

 Our formal sitting room - with the couch that no one was allowed to sit on ;)

The opposite view of the formal sitting room - where that mysterious stain was previously. Updated to all hardwood and added wainscoting for a very formal look.

The master bath got an update with new tile flooring and counter tops - this was towards the end of our renovation and we already knew we were moving so it was pretty much a last minute project that we knew we needed to do but weren't going to put the same amount of investment as we had throughout the rest of the house.

Throwback Thursday has a way of bringing tears to my eyes. We have so many memories of this home - it was where we transitioned from newly weds to home owners to parents. We kept a log of our hours worked and a very conservative tally was 1300 hours between the two of us. Now that we're knee deep into our second renovation, we've gone through so many projects much faster and know where it's worth it to spend the extra money and where to cut back a little bit. I can't wait to share some before and after photos of our current home with you all!

Oh, and this is 8 week old Penny and I. Blast from the past!

Under Construction: #Throwback Thursday Our first renovation

Don't want to miss out on any of our renovation shenanagins? 

Click here for a full list of my posts on it!

As many of you know, Adam and I are project people. Our first renovation was truly a labor of love and it set the stage for how we purchase houses in the future and what we know we can handle in terms of what kinds of projects we can tackle and what level of construction we can handle living in on a daily basis. I mention our first renovation on here every now and again, but on this #ThrowbackThursday I wanted to share some of the pictures of what exactly we started with. Then come back NEXT Thursday for what happened!

We bought the house as a short sale and went into it knowing that we'd take every aspect of that house and change it. We did a full kitchen renovation, updated bathrooms, all new hardwood flooring and carpets and painted every room. The yard was a total mess and in the 2 years we owned the home we completely turned it around and made a great profit, even though it wasn't intended to be a "flip."

This was our dining room upon purchase of the home. It looked like someone changed the oil of a motorcycle in that room! We had asked the previous owner about it and he said it was a water stain but even I wasn't born yesterday ;) All the carpet and flooring was promptly ripped out.

This was the original kitchen. Not that bad to the naked eye - but open any one of those cabinets and it would have been completely rotted out and filled with all kinds of nasties! Those were also promptly ripped out upon move in..

And that is how our downstairs started out on our first day of owning this home. It was about 9 months of working full time on weekends and after work to get the kitchen into it's final stage, which I can't wait to share with you how it looked when we were all done!

This was the backyard. Over 50% of it was overgrown with very mature bamboo, which is a b*tch to remove, let me tell ya! It took the entire two years to cut it down and push it back into a small manageable corner of the lot. Parts of me really wanted to contact the local zoo to see if I can rent a panda for a day...

Click here for the final reveal!

Penny was born in the water (My first birth story)

Today my oldest is 2 years old :) What a great journey it has been!

Prior to becoming pregnant I never really gave my birth options much thought. It was just something that I'd take care of when the time comes and one of my greatest influences in choosing a natural, waterbirth were from two co-workers who had both of their sons at home and my good friend Gretchen, as I followed along her natural parenting journey on her blog for about a year leading up to my pregnancy.

The experiences from these three women sparked my fire in researching why I'd want to have an unmedicated birth, at a free standing birth center, with a midwife and in the water. In addition to the great amount of research that I did (I highly suggest watching The Business of Being Born and reading any Ina May book if you are interested), one of the very best ways that I was able to prepare myself for birth was to read lots of birth stories. Each story is different and provided a new clue into what I could expect to happen or prepare for. Having never witnessed a birth personally, this was the closest I could do to beginning to understand what it might be like.

Our society permeates a lot of fear when it comes to birth. The media portrays birth as this dramatic scene where emergencies run rampant, women scream in agony and tell their "war stories" afterwards. As if for some reason scaring another woman about birth is what proves that you are strong. On the contrary, I believe that a birth free of fear is the most courageous act and is the best for mother and child. Which is why I want to share mine with you today. This story is very precious to my heart and I love to share it. 

The part that I'm the most impressed about with Penny's birth story is that it went exactly how I wanted it to be. This has made me wonder a lot during the preparations for Ruby's birth because who knows how the second time will go. I feel confident in my ability to handle labor pains but the whole unknown about it all is kind of driving me nuts!

-----

On Thursday March 1 I had my 38 week appointment with one of my two midwives. This birth center has two attending midwives and I met with each one equally so that depending whoever was on call, my husband and I had already gotten to know her and she understood our wishes. The midwife, Constance asked if I would like to be checked to see how far along I was, which I happily agreed to. A quick check showed that I was at 3cm. I was elated, but Constance cautioned that it still wasn’t likely to happen soon but that I probably wouldn’t carry to 41 weeks. That day I came home, finished packing the rest of my birth bag, prepared our cameras and tried to get a few projects done. I began to experience some lower back pain, lost some of the mucus plug, and rested that evening with Adam (who came home from work early). That evening I lost the rest of the plug in the middle of the night.

The next day, Friday, Adam went to work and I puttered around the house feeling great. My mom mentioned that the babybump looked lower but I didn’t feel any difference. I called Constance letting her know that I had lost the plug, and asked her opinion of whether I should go anywhere this weekend (side story: we are in the process of selling our home and at the time we were staying with my parents for the end of my pregnancy. This way the house was available for walk throughs at any time and I was getting support while my husband was at work). We planned to drive to our house to finish up some projects, which is a two hour drive from my parents’ house and the birth center that I was going to deliver at. All we needed to get done was clean the house and we were planning on listing it the following week. Constance was confident that we’d be ok, and even if I went into labor I was only a few hours away. So Adam and I drove down and made it there around 7:00p. Adam finished a few projects and I rested on the couch. We went to bed around 10:00p and I still felt completely normal.

At midnight I woke up and felt what I thought was a contraction. I waited a few more minutes, and another one came. Then they started being very consistently 3 minutes long, 7-10 minutes apart. Adam and I decided that if this continues to be consistent (no matter what the length) for an hour that it would be smart to pack up and drive to the birth center. I kept track of the contractions until 1:00a and we found that they were indeed consistent so it was time to go. Adam quickly packed up the dogs and our things into the Volvo and away we went. At that point, the contractions were uncomfortable but very tolerable. I also reminded myself that I had a 2 hour ride ahead of me so I needed to keep calm!

At 1:30a we were on the road and Adam turned on the hazards and very calmly drove 80mph until we saw we were coming up onto a sheriff. I told him to slow down, we don’t need the extra attention, but he decided to risk it and sped past. He started pulling over before the sheriff even turned on his lights. He approached the car, asked us why we were speeding, to which Adam and I both replied “I am (she is) in labor.” He asked if we were going to the local hospital, and Adam said no, we’re going to our birth center, about two hours away. The sheriff begins to launch into a lecture about how we can’t be speeding and that if we are going to be driving like that we either need to call an ambulance (and deliver locally) or he has to write us a ticket. I had grown very impatient at this point, as another contraction was coming, and told him to either write us a ticket or let us go, because I’m not having my baby in a hospital!! I’m pretty sure he’s not accustomed to being so directly spoken to, and he took Adam’s license to run it. A few minutes passed, and when he came back he started in on another lecture about driving safely but that he’s going to us go. We called Constance and my parents on the way to let them know we were coming home.

We arrived in Lacey around 3 am and my contractions were at the “5-1-1” rule (5 minutes apart, lasting one minute for one hour). We called Constance, and she said to wait until I was to the point where I was not able to speak anymore and that Adam would have to call for me. The contractions were still very tolerable during the drive, but as soon as we came to the house I was no longer as chipper. I took a shower and was only able to find comfort by bending over the edge of the bed and having Adam rub my back or provide counter pressure. Finally at 5a I decided it was time to go and we snapped one last picture (boy did I look enthused) and got to the birth center as fast as we could, my mom followed in her car. This time around, the contractions were not very tolerable in the car. The main way I found that I could cope with the pain was to keep writing my contractions down. When we got to the birth center, I think we actually beat Constance and Lisa (the apprentice) so we had to wait a few minutes for the door to open.

I was brought into the birthing room of my choice, which was “the yellow room.” It welcomed a lot of natural light, and I knew that I’d have her during the day at this point, and the bed in this room was higher so I was able to continue to labor in the same way as I had at home. This didn’t last very long, because Lisa’s job was to keep track of the baby’s heart beat and the simple act of gently pressing the monitor to my belly sent me into contractions, which for this first check she had to hold it there for 10 straight minutes. I became very intolerant after 2. Constance invited me to the tub and as soon as I climbed in, I felt a lot better. The water wasn’t as hot as I thought it would be, but it was a lot easier to move around. I had a hard time finding a position to actually have some control in, but soon just draped my arms over the side of the tub and rested on a hip. 

Adam and my mom alternated between holding my arms, hand, or wiping my face with a cold wash cloth. The wash cloth was a life saver, not necessarily for keeping my face cool but following the motion as it was wiped on my face was a distraction. Each time I thought I couldn’t go any further, Adam was right there telling me that I was doing great and that I could do it. He consistently reminded me of my beauty, strength and the amazing feat I was doing for us.

Shortly after getting into the water, Constance checked and announced that I was at 5cm. Lisa diligently would check the baby’s heart rate, but after 3 or 4 times I began to realize that the check was in fact sending me into contractions (in this case, a double load of contractions because she couldn’t check me during a contraction, so she would have to wait until one passed and try, which of course would start it up again) and I had my first outburst in labor - I distinctly remember telling this poor girl not to dare touch me and to keep ‘that thing’ away from me. She took it well, explained why it was needed, and I was able to regain composure but I was grumpy. From then on she was nice enough to give me a heads up a contraction ahead of time so I was able to better prepare myself. The only other outbursts I can recollect was when my water broke, I thought I had pee’d myself and lamented over the humility of it, and another time where I needed water, so my mom got up to get some, and I immediately screamed for her to come back and hold my hand.

At some point Constance gave me the encouragement to get on my knees to try to open up my hips more. I was afraid to move, but Adam was able to convince me to try. Constance checked me again and announced how low her head was, and that I should be able to feel it very shallowly. This gave me such a surge of enthusiasm; my labors were working and my girl was coming. This was no drill. No going back, not getting sent home. I was here to stay until she got here. I remember telling Adam not to not be afraid.

Soon I became impatient. I had felt her head, knew it was right there, and wanted her out. I knew that from here on out, it wasn’t going to be just my body doing the work for me, but that I needed the willpower to get her out. But I didn’t have the urge to push. I asked Constance if I should only push when I had the urge, and she said that I should, but the urge really didn’t come. I moved into a position where I was kneeling and would push down with my hands on my thighs and try to make the urge to push come. I started pushing without the urge. I begged my body for the urge to bear down. Finally the urge came, and hands down was the most terrifying feeling of my entire life. Even though I had hoped and wished so hard for this feeling to come, when it did I felt myself trying so hard to hold it back. I was terrified that literally all of my organs were going to come out. I was beginning to get very tired and would actually be able to fall asleep between contractions. For almost the entire labor I kept my eyes closed, but a few times that I did have them open I would focus on a droplet of water just hanging from my arm, playing a game with myself of whether the droplet would fall first or my contraction would end.

Adam and I recollect that I pushed about a dozen times. After the first half, I did begin to feel tears and knew the ring of fire was coming. I was still in the kneeling position, and Constance encouraged me to get on my knees and use Adam as support, so I put my arms on his shoulders and pushed my head into my mom’s hands. I think I pushed twice this way, and although I felt like I was getting somewhere, I was tearing and it was time to turn over. In this position I felt so out of control because of not having a place to brace my legs to help push.

I knew the end was near when I opened my eyes and saw a stranger in the room. To this point and the best of my knowledge, it had only been myself, Adam, my mom, Constance and Lisa in the birth center. Now there was another person there, not in scrubs, preparing something. I demanded who this person was, and at first no one knew what I was talking about (I began to think I was hallucinating). The woman came over and I saw that she was someone who I had met before at an appointment. She explained that she was the birth assistant and also a midwife.

She helped Constance put on some long gloves so that she can check me, help with the stretching and I think that the baby had to be shifted into a better position. I had asked if she was facing posterior or anterior, she was anterior (I’m sure we would have known earlier because I would have experienced back labor, but all of my labor was felt between my belly button and pubic bone). I asked Constance how many more pushes I had to give, I knew I was so close but with now in the sitting position, facing forward, being impatient and tired (and deep down knowing that I never felt like I had to push but pushed anyways), I just wanted a number. She couldn’t, she said soon, I joked that she always was so qualitative and I wanted quantitative. I asked was it six more times, and she said likely 2-3, maybe even 1-2. This gave me so much encouragement, but again I got scared. I pleaded for her help, and whatever she did, whether it was by physical manipulation or her encouraging eyes, I got the baby’s head out.

I took a small break, asked if it was ok to push the rest of her out, and closed my eyes and out Penelope came.

Immediately she was put on my chest; I saw a baby but didn’t realize who it was. I felt the vernix on my hands, saw and felt a little wiggly body, but still didn’t get it. I looked back at Adam and asked him if this was our daughter, and he joyfully said yes. A small wet towel was placed on her to keep her warm, and Constance asked when I wanted the cord cut. I said that I wanted her to get whatever else she needed to get from it, and we waited a few minutes. The instruments were brought over, and it was determined that someone was to cut it. Adam and I had spoken about this a couple times during the pregnancy, if he was going to cut the cord or catch her, but never came to a decision. Constance ended up catching her, but I asked Adam to cut her cord. It was a very short cord, I could feel that it had to be pulled a little bit to bring the baby to my chest and then some more to get the two clamps on it. I watched Adam very gingerly bring the scissors over, and pause. I asked Constance if the cord has nerves in it, because I knew he was afraid of hurting me or Penelope. It took three snips, and Penelope was now separate from me for the first time in her life. 

Under Construction: Labor Day weekend was..laborious

Don't want to miss out on any of our renovation shenanagins? 

Click here for a full list of my posts on it!

Ahhh Labor Day weekend. The last hurrah of summer where most families are out enjoying the long weekend. The Evergreen State Fair finished up in our area and part of me is relieved. You can't really escape the sounds of the fair, concerts and raceway from either of our houses (thankfully, this week we will be down to one permanent place of residence!).  But as you can probably expect, we spent the weekend working on the house.

Adam laid down a couple coats of stain on the kitchen floor during the week. A major improvement from the very light oak that was popular in the 90's.

Still needs to be sealed but it's definitely come a long way!

We also visited our carpet contact and picked out our carpet. If you're in the Seattle area and looking for new carpet, we're working with Macias Carpet out of Kirkland. They work with remnant stock and are priced very competitively. We aren't super sticklers about the color of carpet (we just wanted something gray toned and are easy to please) and they got us signed up for an install date for Sept. 2.

On Friday my family came up for a visit and my step-dad worked on getting the lawn ready for the fall and winter. One of my brothers, whom I haven't seen since May, was up for a visit from California, so it was fun catching up and seeing him soak up some uncle-niece time. 

Saturday was masking and paint day for Adam, while I took several trips to Lowe's to choose paint colors. Because spraying the paint on is going so quickly, we decided to go ahead and do colors.

After masking off the kitchen, we kind of stood back and had a laugh as Dexter fans.

Our "sky" was also very quickly clearing up! I can almost hear your disappointed cluck..

My follow up trip was to talk to their cabinet people. For our first remodel went with a semi-custom line that did produce a quality product, but we've lowered our expectations A LOT this time around. We also wanted to spend about 1/4 of the money too ;) What can I say, kids change priorities, right? So we've been taking a look around at some ready-to-assemble (RTA) cabinet solutions and also checked out Lowe's just to see what we'd get as a comparison. Still considering what we want to do, but we've got time on our hands. This time we didn't get overzealous and kept most of the existing cabinets instead of ripping them out immediately, so I have a functional (albeit not very pretty) kitchen.

On Sunday my father-in-law and Adam's step-bro came to help us move our furniture. All of our couches, tables, one of the beds and a ton of boxes got moved over. We currently sit on the floor to eat (or blog...) like cavemen. ;) But this will be short lived since the carpet installation is on Tuesday.

The final update for this weekend that I have for you is that Adam rewired the majority of the kitchen in one evening. We had to add power to the island and move light switches around, which he says he found to be very enjoyable. I didn't get to snap a picture to commemorate, but he was pretty proud. Penny clapped for him when I said "good job!" :)

A Peek Back in Time.. Our Kitchen Renovation

As the anticipated closing date on our new home looms (and how tightly crossed my fingers and toes are!!!), my thoughts return to our previous home that we renovated. I haven't shared those pictures with you on this blog yet, so I thought I'd open up my renovation brag book and show off what my husband and I accomplished at our first renovation, affectionately called The TTD (T-ton Tear Down).

80% of that renovation was done by our own hands. The only parts that we contracted out were carpet install (because seriously, $100 to Lowes to install our carpets is a NO BRAINER), granite install, a little bit of exterior paint and electrical work in the kitchen. Everything else from cabinets, hardwood and tile flooring, paint, plumbing, landscaping, dry wall.. you name it.. was all done by us, with the help of friends and family along the way. We didn't have prior experience in a lot of these things, but youtube videos and a healthy relationship with your local hardware store goes a long way :)

I'm going to start off with our kitchen.

That's what we did on Day 1.

Then we started using blue painters tape to map out where our cabinets would be. 

And our peninsula with raised bar.

Then our cabinets arrived and Adam began his install.

Then came paint.

And uppers, which had under cabinet lighting.

And granite with full height backsplash. We were so in love with this color!

And then.. the final product.

Some of my favorite features that we had in the kitchen were a dedicated KitchenAid mixer cabinet (to keep the mixer off the counter but easily accessable)

And a faucet over the cooktop.

Adam made custom corbels for under our raised bar that matched the pulls on our cabinets too.

The kitchen was definitely a labor of love. We spent close to 7 months without a cook top - I cooked every night on a Coleman propane camper style cooktop. Adam spent countless hours under the house reworking plumbing when we moved the sink from an exterior wall to an interior wall. We grew angry and frustrated when we realized that our kitchen designer was taking us for a ride and was not going to come through with his promises and jerked us around. We learned so many valuable lessons as homeowners and a married couple. 

Have you ever thought about doing a renovation, or any upgrades in your existing home? 

How did it go for you?

Home Update #2

I've occasionally written about our current living situation. Here's a quick recap:

In Sept 2012, my husband and I sold our home that we dubbed "The T-ton Tear Down" / "TTD." We bought this house in 2010 and in one weekend had a group of our friends and family help us tear out all the flooring and kitchen out so that we started with a blank canvas for our renovation. Perhaps not the best plan of attack, but hey - it was a learning process!

That month we put an offer on New Home #1, which was a foreclosure and vacant so we rented it from the bank during the purchasing process. We ended up moving out after 3 months and abandoning our offer due to a few things coming to light about the house that weren't caught during the inspection. Like a failing septic system.

We moved out and moved into a temporary rental through our friend and are now in the process of our offer on a house that we have very high hopes for. Just like our last house, it has good bones but is in need of some major repairs. We like to capitalize on these kinds of houses because the typical homebuyer shies away from them. New paint, flooring, kitchens, etc don't scare us. My husband and I have learned that there are many aspects of renovations that are completely doable, given the right skill set. Like understanding basic construction, being comfortable with power tools, being friendly with your local hardware store, and able to watch YouTube videos. Not kidding on that one. Oh, and maintain a Pinterest account ;) Of course, even we have our limitations - we had our TTD kitchen's electrical work professionally installed and the granite counter tops were installed by a fabricator as well. But that's pretty much the extent of it.

Last Thursday we had the inspection on the prospective home. Luckily, there wasn't anything we learned that we hadn't known. It's going to need a new roof, likely new siding (which we will wait to do next summer). It needs new flooring and paint inside - immediately. The current family (parents, 4 teens, 2 dogs and I can detect the presence of rodents or ferrets in the past) has lived in this house hard. Although it's been made tidy for our walk throughs and the inspection, it very clearly hasn't had a deep cleaning in years. Mold and mildew on all the windows, clogged drains, nasty growths in caulking around the toilets and sinks. Nothing we can't handle.

It's been fun walking through this house and dreaming up what we'd do to it to not only fix current issues but to make it better. We've been given a tentative closing date of August 4th, which if course can change quickly, but we're hopeful. We'd love to move in before the end of the summer to take advantage of the good weather and tidy up the outside of the house before the rain sets in.

All of the potential in this house has got us so excited. The ability to test our chops on another renovation, a great sized shop in the backyard (that doesn't overshadow the space at all), being in a family friendly neighborhood with 2 parks within a couple blocks and a large park with a lake, shelters and skate park within a mile walking distance away, and a shorter commute to work for Adam.

So send up a little prayer for us, cross your fingers and toes, and keep an eye for more updates. Also, you can follow my I Have a PhD in Renovating Pinterest board to see some of the inspiration we've got in store for this new house!

Happy 4th Birthday, Squirty McWigglebottom :)

Today marks 2 years since we adopted our second dog, a mini-Australian shepherd, whom we dubbed "Squirt."

We decided on the name after wanting to call him something along the lines of "little brother" to our older dog, Romeo. I had suggested the name Braciszek ("bra-chi-shek," which means "little brother" in Polish)... but as you can guess, that was shot down. Eventually we settled on Squirt, which is really fitting for him anyways.

And the McWigglebottom part? Well, Squirt doesn't have a tail. Australian Shepherds are known for their naturally bobbed tails, but Squirt was born without one at all..however, when he gets really excited, his entire butt shakes.

2 years ago we had decided that Romeo was in need of a buddy. My office was dog friendly, but I didn't always want to bring him with me but we thought he might be lonely during the day. He was getting older and we hoped that a younger dog would pep him up a little bit and in turn he would help mature a younger dog too. We were about half way through our renovation and I was most likely subconsciously dealing with baby fever (3 of my sister in laws were due between May and September). So we decided to get a second dog. The funny part is that I was pregnant about 2 months later anyways....

I am pretty familiar with dog breeds (for some reason) and we decided that a Mini-Aussie would be a good fit for our family. Energetic, smart, loyal and trainable. After months of searching the good old list of Craig's and various pet adoption websites, I came across a listing for a 2 year old male on CL and texted in about him. Throughout the rest of the day I exchanged sporatic texts with a 19 year old girl who was juggling community college courses, a busy lifestyle and a energetic (to say the least) dog that was cooped up in her small apartment :( I felt bad because I remember being in that stage of life.. I'm sure she loved that dog very much, but it just wasn't a good mix. I'm thankful that she decided to give him to a good home and move on.

We picked him up that night and were greeted with this ball of furry silvery energy that immediately loved on us (and wiggled his bottom to no end). His main goal in life is to please those around him, just like any good dog does.

What a blessing it has been to have Squirt in our family and watch Penelope grow to love him.

A Renovator At Heart Weighs In

Did you know that my blogging roots began when my husband and I bought our first home and tore it apart in the first weekend we moved in?

We had been looking for a house to buy for almost a year before we landed on this one. It was a fixer upper that had excellent bones, but had definitely been mistreated over the last few years. The least of our worries was the new paint and flooring that it was going to require. The biggest problem? The kitchen. The cabinets were rotted out. It had to go.

So we enlisted about 20 of our friends and family who all took in delight in tearing out the guts of the house and leaving us with an empty shell. Literally.

Less than 2 years later we turned that shell into this:

Oh how much heart and soul (and money) we poured into this house. Long story short, my husband's job relocated us 3 hours north of that home and now we're on our new path.. But, these are stories for another time.

Although we are definitely DIY'ers through and through, there are plenty of reasons why the next time we purchase a home we'd look into building a home or buying brand new.

Besides saving yourself the trouble of doing upgrades and renovations yourself (which not everyone has the know how or time to do), a few good reasons to buy a brand new home include:

• Whether you elect to shop around for land and then work with your builder of choice or if you find a development already underway and jump in after the start of construction, there is tons of room for customization. Depending on how far into the process the builder already is, the buyer can tweak the placement of some rooms, color schemes and add on some upgrades (like granite, light fixtures, etc).  We've specifically looked at floor plans that would allow Adam to turn a 3 car garage into a 6 car garage. Yes, my husband is really into cars.
• Brand new homes are more energy efficient than older homes (even 10 year old ones!). They feature energy efficient appliances, windows and insulation.
• Most builders offer various home warranties so you have peace of mind knowing that if something isn't just right, it will get taken care of. 
• And there are so many more reasons why buying a new home is worth thinking about on  BHI’s Start Fresh Buy New website

When thinking about purchasing a home, do you gravitate towards new or used? 

I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective, and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

Moving!

So if you've been reading along for the last 9ish months or so, you've probably heard me mention that we've been living in limbo somewhat. To bring you up to speed, about a year ago Adam accepted a position which relocated us 3 hours north of where we owned our home that we had been renovating. He started at that job, while I stayed down south and finished working at my job until I went on maternity leave. In February, while our house was put on the market, we made the semi-permanent move north with my parents (the hubs *hates* it when I say "we live with my parents" but is there a different way to put it? not really.). This put our new home base about 1 1/2 hours south of where Adam works.

Then, in September OUR HOUSE SOLD and very soon after we had our offer in on a house that is much closer to his work. It listed as a foreclosure and was outside of our price range but it had been on the market for about a year and hadn't had any offers. So we suuuuuuuper lowballed it with little expectation to be taken seriously. But, we were and after a few counter offers we agreed upon a price. We learned that we were negotiating with a bankruptcy trustee who was in charge of the estate.  We were even given a closing date. We prepared to move into our new home and then were hit out of left field. The house was not a foreclosure - but a short sale. The price we negotiated with the trustee was not the final say and that the bank hadn't even seen the offer yet. That closing date we were given - completely fabricated. At least it feels that way. There isn't any other way to explain it. Somewhere, someone (likely the listing agent) dropped the ball. Who lists a house as a foreclosure and allows an offer to go through as such and then 2 weeks before the closing date have something like this fall through the cracks?

We were told that the new plan is to wait til November 30th, where our offer will be brought to bankruptcy court for the bank to see our offer. Then we were told that it could be another 120 days until we hear a final decision. Frustration does not even begin to explain it.  (2 second rant: WHY oh WHY can't there be like 10 routes for buying/selling homes? Why does each and every transaction have to be unique??)

Then we got the bright idea to see if the bank would be willing to rent us the property - after all, the house had been vacant for a long time and our personal interest in moving in (beyond having our own space) was that winter is coming - and the heat had been turned off long ago. Because we are under contract to purchase this home, it is in our best interest to keep that house safe during the winter.

So we proposed the idea and were quickly hooked up with the property manager who works for the bank and we negotiated a rental agreement and guess what? WE MOVED IN YESTERDAY!

Oh man. Words cannot explain how great it was! What made it even better was that typically Adam and I have very bad luck when having to deal with contracted work (such as our kitchen designer, title companies - on 3 counts - sellers/buyers, etc) but this time - everything went so smoothly. The movers were professional, polite and careful with our stuff, we got the water and electrical back up and running as it should. The house warmed up quickly and after cleaning up the floors, we let Penelope crawl around and explore her new home, while Adam and I basked in gratitude and accomplishment.

Penny and Daddy walking the property

This move was very last minute (like - less than 12 hours notice) so there was quite a bit that we left behind at my parents' (namely, the dogs!). I'll be here through the end of the week, finalizing our packing and we'll all be back up at the house this weekend. BIG SIGH of happiness. I even found my Christmas decorations - I'm totally putting them out before Thanksgiving.

It's a really weird position to be in, to rent one's home prior to owning it. Basically we've been told to expect sometime in early Spring for a closing date. It's even stranger because we're big DIY'ers - we renovate for fun. However, we won't be touching this house until it is ours.

And so there you have it. A little over a year and we're back to "normal life," as I call it. I'll be posting pictures soon... blogging will be somewhat intermittent because we don't have internet at the house yet, and apparently it is rural enough that Comcast/Century Link etc don't service out there (??? but it's really not THAT rural!).

A year ago (October 2011)

Thinking back to what we were up to a year ago is sort of my way of always keeping life in perspective. And October of 2011 was a serious pivot point in our lives.

For the first part of the month we took an 11 day "babymoon."  We hadn't really planned it in advance, but took advantage of our stockpile of airmiles and found a great deal on a Mediterranean cruise. We had enough airmiles to fly first class - to say it was amazing would be an understatement. I was in the beginning of my second trimester and sitting was becoming a little uncomfortable sometimes.  On Trans-Atlantic flights, the seats are set up to recline far enough to be a bed. Bliss for this then-pregnant mama. We flew to Barcelona, hung out for a few days and then took a week long cruise along the Mediterranean down Italy's west coast. Our ports included Florence, Rome, Naples and Palma de Majorca. Our favorite by far was Naples, because we visited the archaeological site of Pompeii and took a drive down the absolutely gorgeous Amalfi coast to the town of Sorrento. I was 17 weeks pregnant and just crossed the bridge to where food tasted good again.. Just in time! You can read more about our trip here. Oh, and my favorite facebook status from the entire trip: "While waiting for the first leg of our flight, which is from Seattle to LA, I asked Adam if he thinks we'll get food in first class on such a short flight. He says "I don't know but I certainly expect an ice sculpture." Ahhh, the life.

During our trip I felt Pierogie's kicks for the first time! They felt like soft little waves, similar to what you feel underwater at the pool.

We found out that our little Pierogie is... a girl! I was so ecstatic! Our chinese gender chart pointed towards us having a boy, and of course I was going to be happy either way, but I wanted a little girl deep down in my heart. Our family was going through a bit of a baby boom and out of about 10 kids born, Penny was one of two girls.

On Halloween Adam started his new job and moved 3 hours away from home. Our plan was for me to continue working at my job until I took maternity leave. It just didn't make sense to quit a good job half way through my pregnancy and try to find a new job in the Seattle area when ultimately I planned on being a stay at home mom. Adam alternated his weeks staying with different family members and drove home on weekends to be with the dogs and I, so that we could finish working on our house. It wasn't easy, but we both saw the long term benefits of going this route so we stuck it out.

Babymoon: A Cruise in Europe

Welcome to the June edition of Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival: Vacation and Travel.

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival hosted by The Positive Parenting Connection and Authentic Parenting. This month our participants are sharing ideas, inspiration and information on travel and vacations! Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

***


My husband and I are big fans of air miles. We've accumulated and used them periodically throughout our marriage- starting with having the air fare be completely free for our honeymoon to the Dominican Republic, and most recently our first class trip to Europe for our babymoon!

The idea of a babymoon has been around for quite some time, however some people use it as a time before the baby arrives for the parents to have some quiet time together as a couple, or others use it as bonding time with the baby once it has arrived.

We had been saving our air miles for several years- with the intent of planning a spectacular trip to Australia as a hurrah for finishing our house renovation and preparation for starting a family. Well, baby came before the renovation was done and we knew that if we wanted to take that special vacation, now was the time! Unfortunately Australia was out because the seasons didn't match up to when we'd like to go. Next thought? Why not cruise in Europe? We'd travel comfortably, in style and room/board was included for almost our entire trip.

So we planned our trip for during my second trimester, when food tasted good again and it was still ok to fly and cruise. With our Alaska Air Miles, we booked two first class tickets from Seattle to Barcelona, where a few days later we would disembark on the Norwegian Epic for 7 days along the coast of Italy- stopping to see Florence, Rome, Naples and Palma de Majorca. We also got very lucky and upgraded staterooms were on sale- so we got our room with a balcony too!! Yes, this was the trip of a lifetime!

Our route - source

The day of our departure was the first time I wore maternity clothes, but I still wasn't showing too much just yet. It was the "my, that's an unfortunate place for some extra pudge!" kind of feeling. I opted out of each X-ray/scanner at security because I just don't like to take risks, even if they say it's perfectly ok.  The pat down wasn't bad or overly invasive.

So very excited for our trip!

Everything that they say about first class is true too - they treat you like kings! We flew Air France on the way over, and KLM back. Although both airlines were great, Air France was our favorite. The food was actually tasty- duck for an appetiser, cheeses, fruits, any juice or drink you'd like, steak for dinner.. and yes, real cutlery and dinner ware. Nothing plastic at all!

One big thing this pregnant girl really appreciated were the seats...fully reclining and basically turned into a bed. I know, anyone would love that for any length of flight but especially for someone who is growing another little someone, getting to vary your position made a really big difference for me.  Another perk of first class was at each layover we had access to the first class lounge, where there was hors d'ouvres served, comfortable chairs and in some airports you have access to showers (Heathrow in London has massages!).

Once we arrived to Barcelona, we spent a day and a half getting over the jet lag and doing a little bit of sightseeing. I did very little research on what to see and do in Barcelona, so I feel like we probably could have done more with our time.  But we knew that we'd be seeing a whole lot more on the cruise so we kept that part of the trip very low key.

The ship was impressive.  It is Norwegian's largest ship, and always dwarfed the other ships in the ports we visited. Although massive, that captain was able to turn it on {almost} a dime. He parallel parked that thing better than I can parallel park my Volvo.  With a buffet and over a dozen restaurants on board, we had a wide array of cuisine to choose from for the entire week.  This worked out perfectly for me because I was able to satisfy almost any craving I had, at any time of day.  There were enough shows that we could choose a different one each night, including Blue Man Group, and we also won $150 in Bingo ;)

Out of all of the ports visited, our favorite was Naples. We didn't actually visit the city of Naples, instead we took a tour that brought us to the archaeological site of Pompeii and then a drive down the famed Amalfi coast to have some late lunch in Sorrento. Southern Italy is the Italy that Americans are accustomed to, because in the early 1900's that was where most of the Italian immigrants who came through Ellis Island came from.  It's the "Olive Garden" stereotypical Italian image.

Cruising was an  excellent option for us during my pregnancy.  It was a great balance between seeing several cities but not having to worry about how we're getting there or where our next meal was going to come from.  With "at sea" days peppered in, we got to rest and relax in between ports so I didn't get over tired.  We had a vast array of port excursions to choose from that could match whatever energy level I was feeling at that time.  Last but not least, getting to spend those 10 days with my hubby were amazing.. We celebrated our achievements as a married couple, as renovators, and as soon to be parents.  We played with reckless abandon, ate like kings and soaked up culture.  When we returned, we had our ultrasound that revealed we were having a little girl.. the perfect way to end a vacation of a lifetime!

Follow along with me in the future as I share a little more about our family, peppered with some yummy recipes and tidbits of knowledge that I learn along the way. And let me know that you stopped by, so I can say hello :)

***
Visit The Positive Parenting Connection and Authentic Parenting to find out how you can participate in the next Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• Traveling with a Sick Child — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares her tips and tricks for traveling with a sick child based on firsthand experience.
• Educational Travel | Pennsylvania, New Mexico &; Louisiana — That Mama Gretchen relives three childhood trips while outlining a plan for future homeschooling adventures.
• Babymoon: A Cruise in Europe — Bianca from The Pierogie Mama writes about the babymoon that she and her husband took to Europe, via a week long cruise through the Western Mediterranean..
• Travelling with our little one — Stoneageparent describes what travelling means to her family, exploring the link between attachment parenting and travelling
• I Just Can't Do It — aNonyMous at Radical Ramblings describes the nightmare it is trying to travel with her daughter, and how for the moment day-trips to local areas will have to suffice.
• Carnival: Travel and Vacation — Macgyvermama rounds out her "Travel Light with Babies and Kids" series with some juicy tips on how to travel light and stress free with your moving and grooving Toddler!
• Traveling: Adventure, Nature, Family — Brenna at Almost All The Truth shares her hopes and fears for her Great Summer Camping Road Trip with her three small children.
• Frustration Free Flying with Kids — Based on her extensive experience flying with her family, Laura at Authentic Parenting shares tips on how to make the trip fun for you and your children.
• 12 Awesome Toys To Bring Along When Traveling With Children - Ariadne over at Positive Parenting Connection is sharing about toys her children love and playful ways to use them that make travel with children more fun and less stressful for the whole family.

Changing it up: A reprieve from our LAT relationship

As many of you know, Adam and I haven't quite been "living together" in the traditional sense since October 31st - when I was 21 weeks pregnant.
He accepted a new position as a design engineer that would eventually relocate us almost 4 hours away from our home. Our *almost* completed renovation. In short, this decision was made for the long term benefits - the number one reason being that he would now have work benefits. Other reasons included this being a position that he was more interested in and we'd be placed roughly in between both of our families. You can read more about our annoucement here.
In the interim, because I was pregnant, we decided that I would stay back, finish working at my current job, and he would work up north. We'd finish our renovation and sell the house. As the due date got closer, we'd stay at my parents' house and I'd deliver in my hometown and once the house sold we'd get our own place closer to Adam's new work. Meanwhile, Adam would divide his time between staying with us (and absorbing a horrendous daily commute) and staying closer to work with friends and family.

Well, for those of you keeping track, Penny is now almost 4 months old and we've been more or less living apart for about 8 months.
Then, a couple weeks ago we were presented with a wonderful opportunity by Adam's cousin to stay at her apartment while she takes an internship out of state for 6 weeks. This shortens Adam's commute to about 30 minutes and we get to see each other like a normal couple every night! Hallelujah!  We made the move on Monday and I've spent the last few days organizing. The apartment building is really nice, with a beautiful courtyard and a cafe that serves wine, beer, sandwiches and gelato. We are so looking forward to this break, back to 'real life,' as I call it.

Believe it or not, the "married but living apart," or "living apart together / LAT" situation is not uncommon for couples these days. Most of the time it's for financial/career choices, such as they both have high powered careers in different cities, or they can't get jobs in the same commuting radius. Sometimes it's because they go to different colleges. Sometimes their lifestyles are so different that they'd just rather not share a home, but are in a committed relationship. I learned out this idea in my Sociology of Marriage and Family course in college, and never once thought that I'd be a part of this small, yet growing, demographic. In a really interesting study by the National Institute of Health (and yes, this is a real study, not just the reuter's boiled down version of it), young people are more likely than older people to be in LAT relationships, most often living with other adults such as their parents.  They are also more likely to have a college education than their cohabitating (married or not) cohorts.  For others, it's simply a lifestyle choice.  In a lifestyle article, an older couple interviewed preferred it because they were able to keep their independant lives, routines and finances. They likened it to being "on a first date" after a few days apart. For younger couples, they are more likely to live together in the future, which suggests that this is just a step in the process, rather than a lifestyle choice.

If a sociologist were to knock on our door today and ask me why we are choosing not to live together, first off I'd jump for joy that I'm being included in a sociological study (my degree is in Soc), and for reals my answer would be our choice can be categorized as due to work/financial reasons. We want to sell our home before picking up another mortgage or lease. Living apart, but still together, allowed Penelope and I to have a stable environment where I was supported during the end of my pregnancy, post partum and acclimation to becoming a new mama.  Adam toughed it out and divided his time between staying with family (closer to his new job) or commuting the sometimes 2-4 hour drive back to where Penny and I were. Although this has been a blow to our social life together, we've been able to maintain financial stability during this transition and in so many ways our relationship has grown stronger.  I don't recommend it for fun, but I can say that with hard work from both partners it's possible to come out happier in the end.

What are your thoughts? To be clear, I'm talking about couples who are in

long-term relationships where they see a future; versus trial-separations or friends with benefits.

How does it affect family when mom and dad don't live together (not a divorce or separation issue)?
Are you still considered a couple if you share different households (beyond the dating relationship)?

Have you ever been in a period where you are in a LAT relationship? How did it affect you?